Grasping “Manners”

We babysat our nephew and niece this past Saturday and on the way back to their house we heard the funniest conversation between our nephew and Middle Boy.

For some background info:

• Middle Boy is two months older than Nephew J.
• Middle Boy and Nephew J are very competitive with each other. They’re always trying to get the one up on the other.
• Nephew J is a really sweet kid but definitely doesn’t have the structure that Middle Boy has been introduced to.

Back to inside the car. Nephew J and Middle Boy are in the back seat talking about things they do at home.

NJ: I can play my video games whenever I want. Can you?

MB: We don’t get to play video games every day.

NJ: I never ask my mom or dad if I can play video games. I play them whenever I want.

MB: You must have bad manners!

I had to keep my chuckling under wraps, luckily I was in the front seat of the mini van and there was a row of seats in-between us. I was both amused and proud of Middle Boy. At least he’s starting to get a grasp on the whole “manners” thing.

We Got Married!

We endured much wedding preparation chaos but we overcame all. It even came down to the chaos of needing an extra $400 five hours before it was due, however with the help of my parents and getting FH’s taxes filed early we pulled it all off.

Our wedding day was a really joyous and amazing day! We made sure to include the boys were we could in the ceremony and the smiles on their faces and their excitement really paid off for it.

I wanted to share my wedding vows with you. I don’t normally cry and I didn’t think I would. In fact for the whole first part of my vows I was doing pretty well. Then I got to the part where I made promises to the boys and I looked over at them as I said their names. As soon as I said Older Boy’s name he got the biggest smile on his face and his eyes widened and he just glowed. And that did it. Tears swelled in my eyes and my heart just about stopped beating in happiness. I somehow choked out the rest of my vows but I did it.

Of all the boys I think I was worried most about being accepted by Older Boy since he’s the oldest of course. Although he’s the one who has been asking for months and months now when we’d be getting married he’s been saying little things that have made me feel welcomed both as a family member and a parent to him. For one he named me as his parent in an essay he wrote while on the other hand he named Jane’s guy as his stepdad. I’ve very much accepted that he has accepted me as a parental figure in his life. He also vocally gives me much credit for many things and that has made me feel even more welcomed.

Anyway, here are my wedding vows:

FH, I promise to love you, to hold you and to honor you, in good times and in bad, to enjoy you, to communicate with you always, and to console you when you need consoling. I will give thanks for you each and every day, and cherish you with all of my heart. And I promise to be a patient, loving mother to Older Boy, Middle Boy, and Younger Boy; caring for them and providing for them as my own. I promise to be their strength and their emotional support, loving them with all my heart forever.

We also did a family sand ceremony. I ended up going to a craft store and buying small vases, sea salt and coloring. I also got a glass etching kit and put the first letter of our first name on each of our vases. We also let the boys pick out the color they'd like. It came out really nice and all of the boys were really excited to be able to have a role in the wedding.

Here is a photo of the sand ceremony set up before the ceremony.

Here is a photo of afterward. And as an added bonus there’s my hand-made bouquet and our yummy cake.

I’m hoping now that things have been settling back down I’ll be able to post more frequently again.

Little Minds Are Amazing

I may have missed out on all the of baby related things of having a child but I am so thankful to be here now. I’ve seen Older Boy develop a love for books, I’ve seen Middle Boy learn how to read and spell and tie his shoes, and as you may recall I’ve been working with Younger Boy on learning letters and spelling.

He amazed me again yesterday. I finally got him that second set of magnetic letters for the refrigerator. Yesterday he was at it spelling words left and right. And then he asked me “Does this spell Caterpillar?”

I walked over and this is what I saw: KATRPLLER



Not only was I amazed that he had attempted such a long word by himself, but he actually had used the phonetic sounds to try and spell it. I was so proud.

I told him the letters of how to really spell it and even showed him the “cat” in “caterpillar” since he already knew how to spell cat.

These little minds simply are amazing to me. I’m very excited to see what else he has picked up.

I’m Sick Again

Well I’ve been sick, and sick and sicker. The wedding is less than two weeks away and I’m here with some swollen sinuses and hacking junk out of my lungs. I’d like to thank Middle Boy for personally bringing this into the house as he had it just before I got it. Apparently not being able to sleep, being stressed out and doing too much is just asking to get sick. So that’s where I’ve been. Sick and trying to take better care of myself…Except for right at this moment because I can’t sleep.

I only have one instance of Jane to report on. We found out that she just officially was granted her drivers license back after a year of not having it. This means that she has not only been driving around with a not-so-good-functioning brain but has also been driving the boys around with her not-so-good-functioning brain and no driver’s license. To say that FH and were horrified to realize this is putting it mildly. But we can’t do much about it now. So we’ve made a note of it in our binder for safe keeping and we’ve let it roll off our backs.

Other than that things have been well here, except for half of us being sick. I hope to be able to post regularly again once I’m feeling better and for sure after the wedding on February 6th.

I hope all is well with all of you and your families. Cross your fingers for me that I can get over this nastiness before the wedding!

My Spelling Fanatic

I have created a spelling fanatic in our house. Do you remember the preschool program Word World that I recently discovered last month? Well not only is it now Younger Boy's show of choice to watch, but it always launches him into a spelling frenzy.

He’s learned a lot of words like “star” and “mat” and “bat” in addition to his favorite word ever “hat.” I can always tell when he’s really learned a word from the show because he ways “That’s a WordWorld word.”

Those magnetic letters have become one of his new favorite pastimes. We still, however, need to get another set of letters because it’s hard to spell some words when you only have one of each letter. Example, last night Older Boy and Younger Boy were at the fridge:

OB: How do you spell “daddy?”
YB: I don’t know. D-A-D.
OB: Almost. That’s “dad.” “Daddy” is D-A-D-D-Y.
YB: That’s three Ds! I only have one!

Another plus is he is also started to distinguish letters and sounds. A lot of times he will hear a word and say something like:

YB: “Bird” That starts with a B.

He also has taken up to asking how to spell words. The longer words though he sometimes re-asks if that’s how you spell it. I think all of the letters confuse him.

YB: How do you spell “balloon?”
Crys: B-A-L-L-O-O-N
YB: No it’s not! That’s not how you spell “balloon!”
Crys; Yes it is!
YB: That’s how you spell “balloon?” Well it has a lot of letters.

And lastly, for now, he’s starting to grasp beginning and ending letters. Although he does mix it up a bit, I’m rather impressed he is still able to connect the sound and letter.

YB: “Fun” starts with “N”
Crys: “Fun” ends with “N” … F-U-N
YB: Ohhh. And “hat” starts with “H.”
Crys: Yup.

I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m a proud momma.

Hello 2010

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous

I’ve had a hard time trying to find something to write about lately. First I was sick, and then things just started piling up. And here I am at almost 3 in the AM – and awake.

Some of you may remember that instead of resolutions I more find a mantra to follow for the year. Well, 2010 is a huge year for me and I’m already feeling it. The truth of where I’ve been is stressed out and panicking. I’m supposed to be getting married next month and I don’t know how we’re going to pay for the wedding. It’s a little hard to get all of the finishing touches going when you know you don’t have the money.

I’ve been trying to qualify for a loan. However, apparently I just don’t make enough money. I don’t make enough money at my job for the credit union to feel comfortable enough to loan me money. Basically, between college and having to be an adult and do things for myself and now having to be an instant parent and provide for children I have debt. And between what I make and the payments I’m supposed to be making (even though they’re counting things I don’t pay) I just about break even and so on their paperwork I don’t have any extra money to pay them back.

We’ve been scrambling. I’ve been scrambling to find a second job that I can handle and not completely overwhelm myself with. FH has been trying to find extra money from his paychecks to give me so I can try to pay off my debt. So please send a good thought my way that I’ve managed to pay off enough to qualify for a loan.

I called the wedding venue place that is basically the whole she-bang. They handle the ceremony, the reception, the cake, the dj, the catering, the set up, the clean up. They’re a great package. And we’ve got a great discount. But with three kids we pay for full time, and trying to pay off our debt we just haven’t been able to save up enough. Anyway, I called them to find out my options. And I got lectured about how maybe we shouldn’t have tried to plan something that we couldn’t afford.

Well, a year ago we totally thought we could save up the money. We really did. And I didn’t want to go get hitched for cheap in Reno or Tahoe or Vegas. Not that there is anything wrong with that, it’s just I wanted a nice little intimate wedding. I figured that since I was trading in my hopes and dreams of this dream life I wasn’t getting I could at least get my small intimate wedding … right?

So here I am. Awake because I’m stressed and am trying so hard to be positive that this is all going to pull through last minute. And I’m frustrated because I’ve come to the realization that I’ve kind of lost my way. Back to the top – I’ve been trying to find a mantra for this year. What is 2010 going to be for me?

At first I thought it was going to be the Year of Tranquil Transitions. I thought just maybe if I thought about how I was going to spend the year calmly and patiently going through these crazy new transitions that it would maybe just happen; except these first few weeks have been anything but tranquil. And the reality keeps hitting me of the new transitions I’m about to go through. All of this – wife, instant mother, daughter-in-law, etc. is about to all become official.

It’s a bit frightening when you’re finally looking it in the face. So I think that 2010 is going to be the Year of Recreating Myself. I say “recreate” because every time I think I’ve “found” myself something happens and I find myself having to “find” myself all over again.

So here’s the breakdown:

2006 – The Year To Take Risks
2007 – The Year To Take Smart Risks
2008 – The Year To Be Optimistic and Think Positively
2009 – The Year Of Being A Positive Influence
2010 – The Year of Recreating Myself

And some of the few things bringing me peace are the thoughts that I’m not the only one who has found herself in this position. I can only assume that hundreds of instant parents have had to recreate themselves too. And that I will get past these hurdles. I know deep down that I’m much stronger than I give myself credit for.

Now I have to remember to believe in it over just saying it to myself.

Out Sick and A Scary Experience

Hi everyone. I have been out sick all week. I assume it has something to do with the kids being sick, and the kids spending extra time over in the nasty house and bringing germs home. Being around tons of people for the holidays and getting worn out going all over the place for the holidays.

It’s definitely the flu. And it sucks. FH used a sick day yesterday to help take care of me. Today he had to go back to work, and I’m on the mend but not totally better. Keep your fingers crossed that the boys remember I’m sick and are nice to me today because all three of them are still here on winter break from school.

I have one new experience to share though from this week. It was terrifying.

On Sunday FH dropped off Older Boy and Younger Boy for Jane. Middle Boy was sick so he stayed home. FH also had Jane sign the latest visiting schedule which stated that he would be picking the boys up the next day, Monday, at 8pm at Jolie’s (her mom).

Well, Monday night came and FH left for Jolie’s. Around 8:40pm he called me because Jane wasn’t there. Jane wasn’t answering her cell phone and her boyfriend’s phone was turned off. Both Jolie and Jane’s aunt tried calling her also and both were unable to get through. I tried calling Jane’s sister and she hadn’t heard anything from her either.

Jolie offered FH to call him if Jane came by later or if she dropped them off in the morning. I’m not sure what either of you would have done but I was on the edge of freak out. I told FH that I would prefer that he drive to Jane’s house just to make sure.

In my mind I had three options going on:
1. She’d skipped town with the kids.
2. She hit her head and was lying unconscious on the ground of her home.
3. She had forgotten, and she wasn’t answering because she has this habit of losing her phone.

FH called me about a half hour later to report that the latter was correct. Jane had forgotten she was supposed to drop them off and had apparently left her phone in a location that she could not hear it ringing.

I don’t think I need to mention how pissed FH was. He was good though and didn’t freak out in front of the boys. But we did make a note of the incident in her binder where we keep all of the notes and signed calendars.

It was oh so very scary not knowing where the boys were. But I’m glad that it turned out OK in the end. Here’s to hoping we don’t have to experience that again, and that none of you have to experience it.