Can you hear that? That beautiful wonderful sound? It’s the glorifying sound of heavenly angels singing and rejoicing because Younger Boy has learned to wipe!
Oh yes, I’ve witnessed this miracle all this week.
YB: I need a wipe!
Me: *walks over to open bathroom door* OK, then get some toilet paper.
YB: *Hops off toilet. Grabs about three squares of toilet paper, and lays strip of squares on sink top so that he can fold them into one thick square. Wipes*
Me: Good job! Do it one more time just to make sure you got it all.
YB: *Repeats above process* Crys, I wiped my butt!
Me: Yes you did! Good job!
YB: I can go to preschool!
So yes, Younger Boy has learned to wipe and is indeed about ready to go to preschool. Although he’ll have to wait for the fall because I’d like to get him a little more independent on wiping on his own first. And there’s this other thing I’ve mentioned to my dear fiancé that he should help with.
The thought occurred to me the other day when I was brushing my teeth. Younger Boy came in to use the bathroom and I noticed that as he’s finishing up he kind of finishes that stream of urine into his underwear. Not exactly full stream here though, more like the after drops of that stream.
Now don’t ask me how I came across this bit of knowledge … it’s possibly it came up during a conversation about how convenient it would be to have a detachable penis I could keep in my purse so that I could whip it out in an outdoor emergency situation. But the thought that came to my mind was, “What about the shake? Isn’t he supposed to shake it?”
Tangent: Yes, I have on multiple occasions participated in the discussion of peeing outside in the woods. Mainly my point is that it’s irritating that guys can go to a tree and whip it out, go, shake it and tuck it back in and you’re done.. However, we females need to find a location, find some balance, pop a squat, go, either shake like crazy or hope like hell you have some tissue or toilet paper tucked somewhere, and then you’re done. Not so much fun when you’re camping and its 4am and you really have to go, or when you’re in the middle of an orchard at a party and you’re bladder is full from too much beer.
Back on topic, I brought this up to my fiancé in the statement of “Isn’t he supposed to shake it when he’s done.” My fiancé looked at me like I was speaking crazy gibberish but then after he observed what Younger Boy was doing I guess my crazy gibberish made sense.
It was kind of funny. FH told Younger Boy to shake it and, because he wasn’t exactly shown what to shake, and because he’s three he interpreted it as he ought to shake his whole bottom half. Now, whether this was productive or not I don’t know because I had to leave the company of FH and Younger Boy to go giggle in the kitchen. So FH’s next assignment (and Older Boy’s) is to show Younger Boy how to shake it when you’re done.
So we have accomplished much:
Recognizing that he has to pee/poop.
Acting upon that realization.
Going correctly on the toilet (standing to pee or sitting to poop)
Wiping up after pooping
Now what we have to work on:
Wiping independently
Remembering to wash hands with soap afterward
The Shake
And I think that one of the older boys (My assumption is Middle Boy) needs to learn to master the shake as well. Because I know that all that wiping I end up having to do around the toilet isn’t all from Nasty Cat and Younger Boy.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
In Need Of Finding A Balance
I think the one thing that still really hits me hard is when I come to realize that I just can’t live life the way I used to. By that I mean that I can’t plan a get-a-way weekend to Michigan, a last minute lunch with my friends or even host a party. If I do then everything has to be planned well in advance because free reliable baby-sitters (my parents or my fiancé’s sisters) need some notice.
But this last weekend was a whole new smack of reality that I didn’t totally grasp until I was knee deep in it. In the little orchard/farming town I grew up in (high school days at least) they have an annual Youth Day celebration. I’m talking parade and a park full of fun, games and food. It’s usually capped off by bar hopping (all four bars in the little town – three of them on the same street right in a row).
I kind of knew that I wasn’t going to get to participate in the evening activities this year, but what I hadn’t accounted for was that I wasn’t going to be able to just walk around and find my friends either. Youth Day is one of those days that people flock back for. I got to see about three people because we ran into them. But I realized that I couldn’t explore like I normally would have. It just isn’t too practical when you have four kids in tow (Older Boy’s friend was with us) to walk around a people-packed park and then stop and try to catch up with people you haven’t seen in years/months.
I did it once and it’s literally because I ran into a very good friend of mine that I haven’t seen in years, but we keep in touch through e-mail now and then. My mom and my fiancé were standing with the kids when I saw my friend John. I had to walk over, give him a hug and we started catching up. We both had families in tow and it was one of those cramming chats. You know, where you try to cram about 8 months into 10 minutes because you really want to stand and try to catch up but you’re getting either looks from (his wife and sister) or you’re feeling pangs of guilt (because you see that the kids just aren’t having too much fun standing there).
Don’t get me wrong, we had a lot of fun. Younger Boy was my buddy for the day and we had a ton of fun playing the booth games and running through an air-inflated book worm. (He really got a kick out of the fact that you exited out of the worm’s butt.) Then by the time that the kids were running around the park it kind of hit me that we had to leave soon and I just didn’t have time or really the opportunity to go find my friends and say “Hi! Come meet my fiancé and my boys!”
I think I was also rather upset because I knew we were leaving so that my fiancé could go do his weekly guy things with his friends. Sometimes I feel like I've molded myself entirely around my fiancé and the boys' lives and that I don't allow time for me to have fun or do the things that I want to do because of that. I think something to work on this year is to try to find a balance where I'm not just completely bending back over so much to accommodate what they want versus what I'd like.
Back to the reality check though, I was rather bummed to say the least. My mother tried to comfort me with "It will be better next year." And I just really hope that we've found that balance by then.
But this last weekend was a whole new smack of reality that I didn’t totally grasp until I was knee deep in it. In the little orchard/farming town I grew up in (high school days at least) they have an annual Youth Day celebration. I’m talking parade and a park full of fun, games and food. It’s usually capped off by bar hopping (all four bars in the little town – three of them on the same street right in a row).
I kind of knew that I wasn’t going to get to participate in the evening activities this year, but what I hadn’t accounted for was that I wasn’t going to be able to just walk around and find my friends either. Youth Day is one of those days that people flock back for. I got to see about three people because we ran into them. But I realized that I couldn’t explore like I normally would have. It just isn’t too practical when you have four kids in tow (Older Boy’s friend was with us) to walk around a people-packed park and then stop and try to catch up with people you haven’t seen in years/months.
I did it once and it’s literally because I ran into a very good friend of mine that I haven’t seen in years, but we keep in touch through e-mail now and then. My mom and my fiancé were standing with the kids when I saw my friend John. I had to walk over, give him a hug and we started catching up. We both had families in tow and it was one of those cramming chats. You know, where you try to cram about 8 months into 10 minutes because you really want to stand and try to catch up but you’re getting either looks from (his wife and sister) or you’re feeling pangs of guilt (because you see that the kids just aren’t having too much fun standing there).
Don’t get me wrong, we had a lot of fun. Younger Boy was my buddy for the day and we had a ton of fun playing the booth games and running through an air-inflated book worm. (He really got a kick out of the fact that you exited out of the worm’s butt.) Then by the time that the kids were running around the park it kind of hit me that we had to leave soon and I just didn’t have time or really the opportunity to go find my friends and say “Hi! Come meet my fiancé and my boys!”
I think I was also rather upset because I knew we were leaving so that my fiancé could go do his weekly guy things with his friends. Sometimes I feel like I've molded myself entirely around my fiancé and the boys' lives and that I don't allow time for me to have fun or do the things that I want to do because of that. I think something to work on this year is to try to find a balance where I'm not just completely bending back over so much to accommodate what they want versus what I'd like.
Back to the reality check though, I was rather bummed to say the least. My mother tried to comfort me with "It will be better next year." And I just really hope that we've found that balance by then.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
The Great, The Frustrating, and the Icky
So obviously I am still trying to balance this new blog and Facebook updates for work with regular life here. It’s been going good at work … same ole same old. It’s work, who am I kidding. Anyway, I had promised another entry last week that I didn’t get to do. And since them other stuff has occurred so I’m going to try to do a mini-novel blog entry.
The Great – He Loves Me
It was a regular afternoon. My fiancé and I were lying on the couch watching some sports. Younger Boy came out of his room and walked over to us and then he melted my heart.
YB: I love you Crys *gives me a hug*
Me: I love you too YB *tries not to cry tears of happiness*
If anything it has been one gesture that has helped me to smile. It has also been the gesture that I try to resort to when I get frustrated with Younger Boy for his daily antics. Another love he bestowed on me was when he told me:
YB: Crys, I love you with my Thomas trains.
What does it really mean? I have no idea. But that kid is a huge Thomas fan. So I kind of associated it to be a good thing. Anyway, he has given me some great warm fuzzies to hang on to.
The Frustrating – Kindergartner Homework Meltdown
Middle Boy has had quite the crying fit over homework the last two days. His homework is getting a little harder and is requiring him to think and process what he’s learning instead of just writing letters and numbers. He’s doing a good job, but now that he’s being required to do things a bit more challenging he’s getting frustrated. And even more frustrating is that instead of asking for help and using his words to explain what he’s doesn’t’ understand he just sits there for forever and then goes into crying fit mode. Crying Fit Mode is where he does nothing but cry, he can’t make himself stop, he can’t think straight and then his whole body gets involved and he gets hot and clammy, and he feels nauseas and his nose start running like crazy.
It is the most frustrating thing in the world to me right now. It started out of no where (at least it hasn’t occurred since he figured out how to read). Both my fiancé and I are here to help him if he needs it. But he needs to learn to ask. Yesterday was not a great day. I finally started a luke warm shower and told Middle Boy to get in there because he seriously needed to cool off.
Anyway, it resulted in a great argument and tension between me and my fiancé. He couldn’t understand why I was so angry and I, of course, was trying to hold it all in and not lose my lid. That of course didn’t work and I ended up pulling my fiancé behind our closed door to tell him exactly why I was so frustrated. It of course stemmed from a couple of things that had been irritating me but being sort of yelled at/talked sternly too with the excuse of “He’s sick and he’s six” really blew my lid. Especially since 1) he wasn’t sick, he worked himself up and 2) I’m aware he’s six but that doesn’t give the excuse not to ask for help and to go into crying fit mode all of a sudden out of no where. I topped it off with the “And it’s not easy raising someone else’s kids, especially when their mother brings them back six steps each time!” Oh yeah that was the cake topper than finally reduced me to tears. I think it usually is, but I really need to learn not either blog more or to stop bottling stuff up inside … or perhaps a combination of the two?
Anyway, we patched it up. Middle Boy cooled off and finished his homework, and today we’ll see how it goes when it comes to homework time.
The Icky – Jane
That says it all right there I’m sure. Do you all remember how Jane just can’t seem to be responsible when it comes to her children? Like how she called us on our trip down to So Cal and was obviously pissed off that we weren’t going to turn the car around and come take Middle Boy off her hands when he puked all over the place. Or like the time she wouldn’t make a decision regarding if a recovering Younger Boy should go over to her house or not and put the decision in his 3-year-old hands. I could go on, but those are examples I know I’ve blogged about.
So down to the point, Jane’s aunt’s cat died. Now don’t get me wrong, I would be very sad if one of my cats died. What made me feel so icky about this is that Jane came down to spend the day with her aunt after her cat died to help console her.
Should this have bothered me? Maybe – Maybe not. But it did. It bothered me that she would come down (and I can’t figure out how she got out of work because it was on her scheduled work day) to spend time with her aunt whose cat just died, but she couldn’t just take care of her children or make a responsible thoughtful and caring decision on their well being.
I don’t know how she reacts to the boys when they do something at her house (like throw up, smear poop all over her bathroom walls, or anything else they might do). But I do know that she gets all feisty and angry when my fiancé comes to get them. Like he asked them to puke on her carpet or smear poop on her walls. And do not have any worries; it’s not keeping me up at night. But it was one of those things that I just was astounded over.
Whatever, right?
The Great – He Loves Me
It was a regular afternoon. My fiancé and I were lying on the couch watching some sports. Younger Boy came out of his room and walked over to us and then he melted my heart.
YB: I love you Crys *gives me a hug*
Me: I love you too YB *tries not to cry tears of happiness*
If anything it has been one gesture that has helped me to smile. It has also been the gesture that I try to resort to when I get frustrated with Younger Boy for his daily antics. Another love he bestowed on me was when he told me:
YB: Crys, I love you with my Thomas trains.
What does it really mean? I have no idea. But that kid is a huge Thomas fan. So I kind of associated it to be a good thing. Anyway, he has given me some great warm fuzzies to hang on to.
The Frustrating – Kindergartner Homework Meltdown
Middle Boy has had quite the crying fit over homework the last two days. His homework is getting a little harder and is requiring him to think and process what he’s learning instead of just writing letters and numbers. He’s doing a good job, but now that he’s being required to do things a bit more challenging he’s getting frustrated. And even more frustrating is that instead of asking for help and using his words to explain what he’s doesn’t’ understand he just sits there for forever and then goes into crying fit mode. Crying Fit Mode is where he does nothing but cry, he can’t make himself stop, he can’t think straight and then his whole body gets involved and he gets hot and clammy, and he feels nauseas and his nose start running like crazy.
It is the most frustrating thing in the world to me right now. It started out of no where (at least it hasn’t occurred since he figured out how to read). Both my fiancé and I are here to help him if he needs it. But he needs to learn to ask. Yesterday was not a great day. I finally started a luke warm shower and told Middle Boy to get in there because he seriously needed to cool off.
Anyway, it resulted in a great argument and tension between me and my fiancé. He couldn’t understand why I was so angry and I, of course, was trying to hold it all in and not lose my lid. That of course didn’t work and I ended up pulling my fiancé behind our closed door to tell him exactly why I was so frustrated. It of course stemmed from a couple of things that had been irritating me but being sort of yelled at/talked sternly too with the excuse of “He’s sick and he’s six” really blew my lid. Especially since 1) he wasn’t sick, he worked himself up and 2) I’m aware he’s six but that doesn’t give the excuse not to ask for help and to go into crying fit mode all of a sudden out of no where. I topped it off with the “And it’s not easy raising someone else’s kids, especially when their mother brings them back six steps each time!” Oh yeah that was the cake topper than finally reduced me to tears. I think it usually is, but I really need to learn not either blog more or to stop bottling stuff up inside … or perhaps a combination of the two?
Anyway, we patched it up. Middle Boy cooled off and finished his homework, and today we’ll see how it goes when it comes to homework time.
The Icky – Jane
That says it all right there I’m sure. Do you all remember how Jane just can’t seem to be responsible when it comes to her children? Like how she called us on our trip down to So Cal and was obviously pissed off that we weren’t going to turn the car around and come take Middle Boy off her hands when he puked all over the place. Or like the time she wouldn’t make a decision regarding if a recovering Younger Boy should go over to her house or not and put the decision in his 3-year-old hands. I could go on, but those are examples I know I’ve blogged about.
So down to the point, Jane’s aunt’s cat died. Now don’t get me wrong, I would be very sad if one of my cats died. What made me feel so icky about this is that Jane came down to spend the day with her aunt after her cat died to help console her.
Should this have bothered me? Maybe – Maybe not. But it did. It bothered me that she would come down (and I can’t figure out how she got out of work because it was on her scheduled work day) to spend time with her aunt whose cat just died, but she couldn’t just take care of her children or make a responsible thoughtful and caring decision on their well being.
I don’t know how she reacts to the boys when they do something at her house (like throw up, smear poop all over her bathroom walls, or anything else they might do). But I do know that she gets all feisty and angry when my fiancé comes to get them. Like he asked them to puke on her carpet or smear poop on her walls. And do not have any worries; it’s not keeping me up at night. But it was one of those things that I just was astounded over.
Whatever, right?
Friday, April 17, 2009
Older Boy Is Blossoming
I am ever so thankful that the boys are all younger than tween years. I’m able to still work with them on behavior and teach responsibility young enough for them to hopefully grasp it into their teenage years. However, I am even more thankful for Older Boy. He just turned 9 and is old enough to grasp things. I am sad that he’s had to experience the heartache and pain of having his parents divorce, but I am glad that he’s been able to see the positive changes and is starting to grasp the right from the wrong.
Older Boy is very motherly, however I’ve been working with him to be less “I’ll do it for you” and more “I’m going to help show you/teach you how to do it for yourself” with his younger brothers. (I’ve had to do the same lesson with my fiancé but I’m proud to say that he’s caught on to his lesson on that very well.) Backing up a bit, I’m very thankful for Older Boy.
Older Boy has helped me to potty train Younger Boy. And he’s helped to be the good example of how to do it with him for other things too. He’s helped to be an example of how to be a big boy and eat your food. He’s helped to be an example of how to buckle your seat belt. And he’s also been oh so helpful in being the example of how to do the right thing, and what to do when you see others doing the wrong thing (although we’re still in the process of that but slow and steady is better then not at all).
I think that this “Helping to teach” his younger brothers has been helping to boost his confidence in himself and helping him to feel more independent as well. My latest request for him was actually to help show Middle Boy how to do something.
Usually Older Boy will help me out by sitting with Middle Boy while he reads to help with words he gets stuck on. However, lately I decided that Middle Boy really needed a lesson on how to properly brush his teeth. And by properly brush his teeth I mean not to make a giant foaming mess that will end up on my shirt hem or pants when I go to put my contacts in/do my hair or make up. Older Boy was up to the challenge. Not only was he awesome and show Middle Boy how he brushes his teeth, but he also stayed to watch Middle Boy brush his teeth and even was very helpful in providing tips and reminders to Middle Boy like “spit in the middle of the sink” and “don’t allow the foam to just fall out of your mouth and onto the counter top.”
I was making lunches for them while they were doing this, but all I could think was, “Thank goodness for Older Boy!”
I’ve also been trying to connect with him as being the oldest child in the family. (My fiancé is the youngest in his.) I think he’s been pretty thankful that he has another older child to relate too. Whenever we have to do the “You’re the older brother and you have to set the example” sort of thing I always tell him one of my experiences that I had to learn about being the good example for my younger sister. It probably also helps that my mother tells him stories of the time I messed up and what I learned growing up as the older child.
It is absolutely amazing to me how much Older Boy has blossomed since I moved in. He started off being this really quiet and not very confident boy in his shell all the time. He’s a thinker that observes the situation at first, but he’s really started to come out of his shell and be more of a participant than just an observer. I think having people who encourage him, challenge him, and show him that there are so many opportunities out there and all you have to do is try has really helped him a lot.
Older Boy is very motherly, however I’ve been working with him to be less “I’ll do it for you” and more “I’m going to help show you/teach you how to do it for yourself” with his younger brothers. (I’ve had to do the same lesson with my fiancé but I’m proud to say that he’s caught on to his lesson on that very well.) Backing up a bit, I’m very thankful for Older Boy.
Older Boy has helped me to potty train Younger Boy. And he’s helped to be the good example of how to do it with him for other things too. He’s helped to be an example of how to be a big boy and eat your food. He’s helped to be an example of how to buckle your seat belt. And he’s also been oh so helpful in being the example of how to do the right thing, and what to do when you see others doing the wrong thing (although we’re still in the process of that but slow and steady is better then not at all).
I think that this “Helping to teach” his younger brothers has been helping to boost his confidence in himself and helping him to feel more independent as well. My latest request for him was actually to help show Middle Boy how to do something.
Usually Older Boy will help me out by sitting with Middle Boy while he reads to help with words he gets stuck on. However, lately I decided that Middle Boy really needed a lesson on how to properly brush his teeth. And by properly brush his teeth I mean not to make a giant foaming mess that will end up on my shirt hem or pants when I go to put my contacts in/do my hair or make up. Older Boy was up to the challenge. Not only was he awesome and show Middle Boy how he brushes his teeth, but he also stayed to watch Middle Boy brush his teeth and even was very helpful in providing tips and reminders to Middle Boy like “spit in the middle of the sink” and “don’t allow the foam to just fall out of your mouth and onto the counter top.”
I was making lunches for them while they were doing this, but all I could think was, “Thank goodness for Older Boy!”
I’ve also been trying to connect with him as being the oldest child in the family. (My fiancé is the youngest in his.) I think he’s been pretty thankful that he has another older child to relate too. Whenever we have to do the “You’re the older brother and you have to set the example” sort of thing I always tell him one of my experiences that I had to learn about being the good example for my younger sister. It probably also helps that my mother tells him stories of the time I messed up and what I learned growing up as the older child.
It is absolutely amazing to me how much Older Boy has blossomed since I moved in. He started off being this really quiet and not very confident boy in his shell all the time. He’s a thinker that observes the situation at first, but he’s really started to come out of his shell and be more of a participant than just an observer. I think having people who encourage him, challenge him, and show him that there are so many opportunities out there and all you have to do is try has really helped him a lot.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
A Story Of Heartache
Between Younger Boy and Jane I think I could write a novel for my blog. First off ... I’ve been totally MIA due to the fact that my job description has been updated again. Or perhaps I should say is in transition/guinea pig mode. I also have started a blog for work and that has by far sucked up my Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’m hoping to get the routine down sooner than later though because being without my stepmom blogs and feeling like I just don’t have the energy to turn a computer on after work sucks. Anyway, here I am and I have missed you all. I actually have two things to share with you, although I think I’ll share one with you now and the other with you later this week. And then I’ll follow each entry up with a Younger Boy funny.
Thing One – The Heartbreaking Story
I might as well just start with this. My mother has always worked with children. She started off working with autistic children, moved to pre-school and then into child development. Needless to say, not only have I always had a good resource on hand to bounce ideas off of, but I’ve been able to get a good experience working with different types of children. I was hanging out with my mother one afternoon when she told me a story about one of the children at her work.
This little girl is about 8 years old. Her parents have been divorced since she was 2 years old. From what I gathered she sees her mother on Thursdays. On this particular day she didn’t want to do her homework in the after school program like she’s encouraged to. She kept telling my mom and the other teachers that she would do her homework at her mom’s. She eventually had a very bad meltdown and started crying that she didn’t want to do her homework there so that her mom would help her with it.
My mom let her calm down a bit and pulled her aside and said: “I think I know what you’re doing. You’re hoping that if you bring homework to your mom’s house that she’ll sit down and work on it with you and spend some time with you.”
The little girl was amazed that her plan of action had been sought out, but agreed that was what she was doing. My mom then told her that she really hopes that her mom would sit down to work on it with her, but that in the chance that she doesn’t she hopes that she would still be able to get her homework done. And she offered this little girl to at least look over it with her in case she had any questions later.
The little girl’s mother is always on the computer. She goes over to visit her and her mom is on the computer doing who knows what. Now this not only made my heart ache, but made me really think.
I work on a computer all morning. But I really do try to take time to get off of it to go see how Younger Boy is doing. I make sure to sit down and eat lunch with him. I, of course, must stick to my work and make sure that I get my stuff done, but at the same time I need Younger Boy to know that I am here to listen to him and that I am here for him if he needs me.
This then made me think of Jane. I always get so frustrated to find out that the boys did nothing but watch TV and play video games when they visit her. I’ve asked my fiancé so many times if she spends time with them or talks with them or does stuff with them. Apparently she doesn’t. Older Boy always tells him the update. She plays online games all day. She apparently doesn’t pay much attention to her baby either. If you remember that one entry, her baby’s babysitter and best friend is the movie “Kung Fu Panda.”
Anyway, this story made me wonder if any of the boys will ever have a meltdown like this little girl did. It would tear my heart into pieces if they had to find gimmicks and ways to make Jane pay attention to them. Although, from past posts about Younger Boy’s behavior you’ve probably come to the same conclusion that I have that his outbursts and set backs in his behavior are ways to get attention from her. And he then carries them over to me. I truly know in my heart that I can’t prevent this from happening. I know that all I can do is be here for them and try my best to help them know that they are loved.
After my mom told me this I decided that I was going to spend some time with Younger Boy. My best friend was in town and we were going to go shopping at the outlets. So I brought Younger Boy with me and we had a really good time. He danced in the stores, got to eat Jelly Belly jellybeans, and even got half of a cookie from the Rocky Mountain Fudge Factory.
The funny that cracked mus both up was that every time we passed a mirror in a store he would stop and look at it.
YB: Crys! Look! It’s a picture of me!
Me: That is you, isn’t it?
YB: Look! Now it’s a picture of me as a monkey! *As he pulls out his ears and puffs up his cheeks*
It made me very happy, and amused, to see him really have a good time and laugh like that.
Younger Boy Funny
Yesterday I realized that Younger Boy is definitely going to be a guy’s guy. And by that I mean that he’s really starting to embrace the stereotypical things that make a guy a guy ... the embrace of gas.
YB: Pfffft. Eww, something farted in my mouth!
Me: Ewww that must be stinky.
YB: I love being a man
That kid might push my patience – daily – but he sure can get me cracking up.
Thing One – The Heartbreaking Story
I might as well just start with this. My mother has always worked with children. She started off working with autistic children, moved to pre-school and then into child development. Needless to say, not only have I always had a good resource on hand to bounce ideas off of, but I’ve been able to get a good experience working with different types of children. I was hanging out with my mother one afternoon when she told me a story about one of the children at her work.
This little girl is about 8 years old. Her parents have been divorced since she was 2 years old. From what I gathered she sees her mother on Thursdays. On this particular day she didn’t want to do her homework in the after school program like she’s encouraged to. She kept telling my mom and the other teachers that she would do her homework at her mom’s. She eventually had a very bad meltdown and started crying that she didn’t want to do her homework there so that her mom would help her with it.
My mom let her calm down a bit and pulled her aside and said: “I think I know what you’re doing. You’re hoping that if you bring homework to your mom’s house that she’ll sit down and work on it with you and spend some time with you.”
The little girl was amazed that her plan of action had been sought out, but agreed that was what she was doing. My mom then told her that she really hopes that her mom would sit down to work on it with her, but that in the chance that she doesn’t she hopes that she would still be able to get her homework done. And she offered this little girl to at least look over it with her in case she had any questions later.
The little girl’s mother is always on the computer. She goes over to visit her and her mom is on the computer doing who knows what. Now this not only made my heart ache, but made me really think.
I work on a computer all morning. But I really do try to take time to get off of it to go see how Younger Boy is doing. I make sure to sit down and eat lunch with him. I, of course, must stick to my work and make sure that I get my stuff done, but at the same time I need Younger Boy to know that I am here to listen to him and that I am here for him if he needs me.
This then made me think of Jane. I always get so frustrated to find out that the boys did nothing but watch TV and play video games when they visit her. I’ve asked my fiancé so many times if she spends time with them or talks with them or does stuff with them. Apparently she doesn’t. Older Boy always tells him the update. She plays online games all day. She apparently doesn’t pay much attention to her baby either. If you remember that one entry, her baby’s babysitter and best friend is the movie “Kung Fu Panda.”
Anyway, this story made me wonder if any of the boys will ever have a meltdown like this little girl did. It would tear my heart into pieces if they had to find gimmicks and ways to make Jane pay attention to them. Although, from past posts about Younger Boy’s behavior you’ve probably come to the same conclusion that I have that his outbursts and set backs in his behavior are ways to get attention from her. And he then carries them over to me. I truly know in my heart that I can’t prevent this from happening. I know that all I can do is be here for them and try my best to help them know that they are loved.
After my mom told me this I decided that I was going to spend some time with Younger Boy. My best friend was in town and we were going to go shopping at the outlets. So I brought Younger Boy with me and we had a really good time. He danced in the stores, got to eat Jelly Belly jellybeans, and even got half of a cookie from the Rocky Mountain Fudge Factory.
The funny that cracked mus both up was that every time we passed a mirror in a store he would stop and look at it.
YB: Crys! Look! It’s a picture of me!
Me: That is you, isn’t it?
YB: Look! Now it’s a picture of me as a monkey! *As he pulls out his ears and puffs up his cheeks*
It made me very happy, and amused, to see him really have a good time and laugh like that.
Younger Boy Funny
Yesterday I realized that Younger Boy is definitely going to be a guy’s guy. And by that I mean that he’s really starting to embrace the stereotypical things that make a guy a guy ... the embrace of gas.
YB: Pfffft. Eww, something farted in my mouth!
Me: Ewww that must be stinky.
YB: I love being a man
That kid might push my patience – daily – but he sure can get me cracking up.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I Need A Toddler 101 Crash Course
Being an instant mom and all, I’m in need of a little help. OK, I’m in need of more than just a little help but I’ve made some new discoveries lately. Or perhaps it’s more that Younger Boy has made some new discoveries and I’m perplexed about how to go about them.
Butt Dunking
If I’m home alone with Younger Boy I’m usually the one who responds to the call of “I need a wipe!” If I’m home with my future hubby I totally share the love and let him know that it’s his turn to respond to the call of action. (He’s so wonderful and always cooperates!) Anyway, this very morning I heard the call and I went in there.
Younger Boy popped up off the seat and assumed the “wipe” position. That’s when I noticed that his butt was dripping with water. And then the light bulb went on in my head. All those times I wondered why there was water on the toilet seat (and it really was water not straight I missed the bowl urine) and all those times I’d found random water sloshes on the floor. I’d even seen Younger Boy balancing himself over the seat lid and dipping low enough. Here I was thinking he was just trying to get his aim and balance right. No! That boy has been dunking his butt into the water when he poops! (The dirty sloshes of water also make sense now because I sure as hell could not figure out how poopy water was getting onto the top of the toilet seat.)
So, do you think repeatedly telling him that dipping your butt into the toilet water just isn’t a good idea because it’s dirty and has germs and could get you (or me) sick? I’d totally get the kid a bidet if we had room, could afford it, and I thought that the rest of the family would be appreciative of it, but that’s a little out of the way budget and room wise right now.
The Killer Bugs
Younger Boy has developed a recent and new fear of bugs. I assume it has something to do with the bee that he angered one day at the park. My future hubby and the boys were playing some baseball when Younger Boy came tearing ass in the middle of it and a big, black bee was tailing him. He, luckily, avoided any stinging. However, the poor love has sure as heck has been scared of bugs since.
I’ve tried convincing him that not all bugs are totally bad and that he’s bigger then them. However, that’s not the easiest task when bees, yellow jackets and wasps are small too.
So if you have any ideas on how to soothe his fear that would be great too.
Thomas is Boring
Younger Boy needs new toys. By “new toys” I mean really great stimulating toys that aren’t Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends. That’s really all he has. He loves his Play-doh, and Finger Painting and the larger (pre-school sized) legos. He also loves coloring and tearing the paper off of crayons. However, there are a lot of hours in the day and once he’s done all those things all he has left is Thomas. And he has been getting really bored of Thomas in which he declares "Crys, I don't want to play with Thomas." (Which I’ve been trying to tell his aunts and grandmothers since they’re the ones who keep buying him Thomas stuff, but of course he’s always willing to play with them if you have them for him so it doesn’t help his cause when he’s sitting at home bored out of his mind because he’s tired of playing with Thomas.)
So, I’ve never been a little boy. All the experience I have with little boys has been with infant boys or boys 10 years old or older. I have no idea what kind/types of toys would be good for an active, curious and creative 3-year-old. I’m wondering if possibly those really big, big puzzles or in general some more puzzles would be good for him. And by regular “puzzles” I mean the types that have just a fire truck or a square and you match the object to its respective hole.
We got him a lift-the-flap interactive Spot the dog book also, but when I'm working during the day I need something that he can play with. Any independent toy ideas are welcome because I’m just apparently out of the loop of what it out there now-a-days.
I need a care sheet like the ones I’ve prepared for bird and small animal owners that lists the different toy groups and the different types of play. They say parrots are like toddlers. Maybe I can use the bird one…that’s an starting point! Right?
Butt Dunking
If I’m home alone with Younger Boy I’m usually the one who responds to the call of “I need a wipe!” If I’m home with my future hubby I totally share the love and let him know that it’s his turn to respond to the call of action. (He’s so wonderful and always cooperates!) Anyway, this very morning I heard the call and I went in there.
Younger Boy popped up off the seat and assumed the “wipe” position. That’s when I noticed that his butt was dripping with water. And then the light bulb went on in my head. All those times I wondered why there was water on the toilet seat (and it really was water not straight I missed the bowl urine) and all those times I’d found random water sloshes on the floor. I’d even seen Younger Boy balancing himself over the seat lid and dipping low enough. Here I was thinking he was just trying to get his aim and balance right. No! That boy has been dunking his butt into the water when he poops! (The dirty sloshes of water also make sense now because I sure as hell could not figure out how poopy water was getting onto the top of the toilet seat.)
So, do you think repeatedly telling him that dipping your butt into the toilet water just isn’t a good idea because it’s dirty and has germs and could get you (or me) sick? I’d totally get the kid a bidet if we had room, could afford it, and I thought that the rest of the family would be appreciative of it, but that’s a little out of the way budget and room wise right now.
The Killer Bugs
Younger Boy has developed a recent and new fear of bugs. I assume it has something to do with the bee that he angered one day at the park. My future hubby and the boys were playing some baseball when Younger Boy came tearing ass in the middle of it and a big, black bee was tailing him. He, luckily, avoided any stinging. However, the poor love has sure as heck has been scared of bugs since.
I’ve tried convincing him that not all bugs are totally bad and that he’s bigger then them. However, that’s not the easiest task when bees, yellow jackets and wasps are small too.
So if you have any ideas on how to soothe his fear that would be great too.
Thomas is Boring
Younger Boy needs new toys. By “new toys” I mean really great stimulating toys that aren’t Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends. That’s really all he has. He loves his Play-doh, and Finger Painting and the larger (pre-school sized) legos. He also loves coloring and tearing the paper off of crayons. However, there are a lot of hours in the day and once he’s done all those things all he has left is Thomas. And he has been getting really bored of Thomas in which he declares "Crys, I don't want to play with Thomas." (Which I’ve been trying to tell his aunts and grandmothers since they’re the ones who keep buying him Thomas stuff, but of course he’s always willing to play with them if you have them for him so it doesn’t help his cause when he’s sitting at home bored out of his mind because he’s tired of playing with Thomas.)
So, I’ve never been a little boy. All the experience I have with little boys has been with infant boys or boys 10 years old or older. I have no idea what kind/types of toys would be good for an active, curious and creative 3-year-old. I’m wondering if possibly those really big, big puzzles or in general some more puzzles would be good for him. And by regular “puzzles” I mean the types that have just a fire truck or a square and you match the object to its respective hole.
We got him a lift-the-flap interactive Spot the dog book also, but when I'm working during the day I need something that he can play with. Any independent toy ideas are welcome because I’m just apparently out of the loop of what it out there now-a-days.
I need a care sheet like the ones I’ve prepared for bird and small animal owners that lists the different toy groups and the different types of play. They say parrots are like toddlers. Maybe I can use the bird one…that’s an starting point! Right?
Friday, April 3, 2009
The Frustrating Good News
Can I just say that I don’t like going to hospitals for anything that isn’t related to the OBGYN? (Not that I enjoy my annual scraping, but I’ve had better experiences (good or bad) with the OBGYN staff.) Unless I’m in the emergency room, whenever I make an appointment for something that is real and happening I find out/get told that I’m fine.
With that said, if you remember this, then you know that I’ve been waiting a good two weeks for my lab test results to come back in to tell me why I’ve been getting/feeling so sick and horrible lately. The test results came back with one line from my doctor:
“Good News – Your lab results are within normal limits.”
That really wasn’t good news to me. If my lab results are fine then what the hell is going on in my body? I’ve been working out more regularly, I’m more cautious of what I eat (avoiding bad carbs and trying to stick to the foods that those following a hypoglycemic diet are supposed to follow) and my episodes have been a bit less. In other words, when they hit they don’t hit nearly as hard nor as often.
And my test results are within normal limits. Seriously? In fact, I got the same letter twice. Is she going to make me call in again, spend another co-payment again to try and figure out what’s going on again? Couldn’t she have given me a call to figure something out … like if my stuff is all within normal limits why is this crap happening?
Grrrr….
The real good news is that Younger Boy hasn't spewed or smeared poop on the floor or vomited in a good couple of days. *Raises hands as a choir of heavenly angels sings from above* Thank goodness! Because I've totally hit my quota of poop and vomit for the year in my opinion.
With that said, if you remember this, then you know that I’ve been waiting a good two weeks for my lab test results to come back in to tell me why I’ve been getting/feeling so sick and horrible lately. The test results came back with one line from my doctor:
“Good News – Your lab results are within normal limits.”
That really wasn’t good news to me. If my lab results are fine then what the hell is going on in my body? I’ve been working out more regularly, I’m more cautious of what I eat (avoiding bad carbs and trying to stick to the foods that those following a hypoglycemic diet are supposed to follow) and my episodes have been a bit less. In other words, when they hit they don’t hit nearly as hard nor as often.
And my test results are within normal limits. Seriously? In fact, I got the same letter twice. Is she going to make me call in again, spend another co-payment again to try and figure out what’s going on again? Couldn’t she have given me a call to figure something out … like if my stuff is all within normal limits why is this crap happening?
Grrrr….
The real good news is that Younger Boy hasn't spewed or smeared poop on the floor or vomited in a good couple of days. *Raises hands as a choir of heavenly angels sings from above* Thank goodness! Because I've totally hit my quota of poop and vomit for the year in my opinion.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Vacation Chaos Highlights
Catching up is not fun, especially when things start breaking (like my computer adapters, my cell phone, my regular in house phone is fading also and is making meetings a pain). Plus the kids are all home from school for another week of spring break! (I wish I had two weeks off for spring break when I was a kid!) I’m at that moment where I just want to scream and pull my hair out.
Vacation was a good time. I got to spend time with some family and friends and had fun at Disneyland. It however, felt more like a business trip then a vacation. So in order to try and relax a bit I’m going to take some time to laugh at some of those crazy vacation moments.
The Almost Rice Beer
We had dinner with some of my dear friends out at a Japanese Restaurant. I was on the phone with another friend making plans for Saturday night when I saw a tiny hand snake across my vision, with some sticky rice grasped in the fingers, straight toward my delicious pint of Kirin beer.
Me:*mid conversation* Yeah Saturday would – Did you just put rice in my delicious glass of beer?!?
YB:*stares at me innocently*
Me: Do NOT put food in other people’s drinks…especially if it’s my glass of beer. I do not like it when you try to put rice in my beer. OK?
YB:*sniff* OK
Friend on phone: Wow, that most definitely a grown up voice I heard.
Me: That kid just tried to put rice in my beer.
Don’t Order The Macaroni
In the Pirates of the Caribbean ride there is a really relaxing, calming part that is supposed to mimic a “down by the river” sort of feel. There is also a restaurant attached to that part. That’s how they get you, because that place is Expensive! I’m talking $27-$33 an adult entrée here. Anyway, since it was Older Boy’s birthday and my fiancé really wanted to go we decided to make it a “one time ever” deal that we go to eat there. (They were also lucky that it was my pay day so we could afford the $101 bill.)
The kid menu had salmon, macaroni and cheese and ribeye. Older Boy wanted salmon (it’s his favorite so he lucked out there) and the other two boys got the macaroni and cheese. Well Younger Boy was chowing down on this dish. He had a couple of bites left when I decided I had to snag a tiny taste. I put that giant noodle in my mouth smothered in sauce…and it tasted like I had just put a cube of butter in my mouth.
Me:*to FH* He’s going to be pooping that out later tonight.
FH: Oh yeah?
Me: It tastes like I just ate butter.
And oh boy, did it come out later that night. It came out of both ends. I felt like I was up to my elbows in poop and puke. Unluckily we were at a restaurant when it happened. Luckily it was the restaurant that both my sister worked at (and I used to work at). The poop made it safely into the toilet.
YB: I have to go poop
Me: Here we go!
***about three minutes after returning to the table after he’s done and washed up***
YB: I have to go poop
Me: You just went!
YB: I fart!!! *Pffffft*
Me: OK, let’s go! Hurry! *springing into action*
We came back and eventually have the rest of his cheese pizza in a box when it happened … Younger Boy erupted macaroni and cheese buttery vomit all over the table. He erupted about three times. Luckily my cousin was there to help me (she’s a mom) clean it all up. Luckily my sister was on shift and her roommate was our server so they sprung into action as well to help provide wet naps, napkins and wet towels. Unluckily for Younger Boy he had managed to get puke on every single article of clothing he had on (including the insides of his shoes). So we had to strip him down naked. My sister brought out one of the shirts that they keep on hand for servers to wear after work so they can have a drink (the place is a brewery/restaurant).
So there we were, visiting some more when I look over and notice that Younger Boy had lifted the bottom of the shirt and had his package on display for everyone to see. (I totally used to do that when I was younger, and it's my parents own fault for putting me in cute ruffle panties I thought everyone should see. I guess maybe Younger Boy got a thrill from the draft he was getting down there.)
Me: Put that down. No one wants to see that!
YB: Ha ha ha ha ha
My Cousin: You’re silly. You don’t need to show off your business to everyone.
YB: Ye-ahhhh!
He then made well with the situation and decided that he was a turtle. He, at least, had a good time.
We did manage to have a lot of fun Sunday morning before we left. We did our engagement photo shoot/family pictures photo shoot out at Laguna Beach. It was overcast and the tide was a bit high so we got some great wave action. I’m really excited to see the proofs when they come in.
The kids really loved running from the waves, and even when they all got knocked down at some point into the water they still ran around having a great time. I totally snagged some photos of that.
All in all, we had a good time. And now, even though my means of communication are all currently a pain, it’s kind of nice to be back in the chaos of everyday life. At least I'm a little more in the know of what to expect.
Vacation was a good time. I got to spend time with some family and friends and had fun at Disneyland. It however, felt more like a business trip then a vacation. So in order to try and relax a bit I’m going to take some time to laugh at some of those crazy vacation moments.
The Almost Rice Beer
We had dinner with some of my dear friends out at a Japanese Restaurant. I was on the phone with another friend making plans for Saturday night when I saw a tiny hand snake across my vision, with some sticky rice grasped in the fingers, straight toward my delicious pint of Kirin beer.
Me:*mid conversation* Yeah Saturday would – Did you just put rice in my delicious glass of beer?!?
YB:*stares at me innocently*
Me: Do NOT put food in other people’s drinks…especially if it’s my glass of beer. I do not like it when you try to put rice in my beer. OK?
YB:*sniff* OK
Friend on phone: Wow, that most definitely a grown up voice I heard.
Me: That kid just tried to put rice in my beer.
Don’t Order The Macaroni
In the Pirates of the Caribbean ride there is a really relaxing, calming part that is supposed to mimic a “down by the river” sort of feel. There is also a restaurant attached to that part. That’s how they get you, because that place is Expensive! I’m talking $27-$33 an adult entrée here. Anyway, since it was Older Boy’s birthday and my fiancé really wanted to go we decided to make it a “one time ever” deal that we go to eat there. (They were also lucky that it was my pay day so we could afford the $101 bill.)
The kid menu had salmon, macaroni and cheese and ribeye. Older Boy wanted salmon (it’s his favorite so he lucked out there) and the other two boys got the macaroni and cheese. Well Younger Boy was chowing down on this dish. He had a couple of bites left when I decided I had to snag a tiny taste. I put that giant noodle in my mouth smothered in sauce…and it tasted like I had just put a cube of butter in my mouth.
Me:*to FH* He’s going to be pooping that out later tonight.
FH: Oh yeah?
Me: It tastes like I just ate butter.
And oh boy, did it come out later that night. It came out of both ends. I felt like I was up to my elbows in poop and puke. Unluckily we were at a restaurant when it happened. Luckily it was the restaurant that both my sister worked at (and I used to work at). The poop made it safely into the toilet.
YB: I have to go poop
Me: Here we go!
***about three minutes after returning to the table after he’s done and washed up***
YB: I have to go poop
Me: You just went!
YB: I fart!!! *Pffffft*
Me: OK, let’s go! Hurry! *springing into action*
We came back and eventually have the rest of his cheese pizza in a box when it happened … Younger Boy erupted macaroni and cheese buttery vomit all over the table. He erupted about three times. Luckily my cousin was there to help me (she’s a mom) clean it all up. Luckily my sister was on shift and her roommate was our server so they sprung into action as well to help provide wet naps, napkins and wet towels. Unluckily for Younger Boy he had managed to get puke on every single article of clothing he had on (including the insides of his shoes). So we had to strip him down naked. My sister brought out one of the shirts that they keep on hand for servers to wear after work so they can have a drink (the place is a brewery/restaurant).
So there we were, visiting some more when I look over and notice that Younger Boy had lifted the bottom of the shirt and had his package on display for everyone to see. (I totally used to do that when I was younger, and it's my parents own fault for putting me in cute ruffle panties I thought everyone should see. I guess maybe Younger Boy got a thrill from the draft he was getting down there.)
Me: Put that down. No one wants to see that!
YB: Ha ha ha ha ha
My Cousin: You’re silly. You don’t need to show off your business to everyone.
YB: Ye-ahhhh!
He then made well with the situation and decided that he was a turtle. He, at least, had a good time.
We did manage to have a lot of fun Sunday morning before we left. We did our engagement photo shoot/family pictures photo shoot out at Laguna Beach. It was overcast and the tide was a bit high so we got some great wave action. I’m really excited to see the proofs when they come in.
The kids really loved running from the waves, and even when they all got knocked down at some point into the water they still ran around having a great time. I totally snagged some photos of that.
All in all, we had a good time. And now, even though my means of communication are all currently a pain, it’s kind of nice to be back in the chaos of everyday life. At least I'm a little more in the know of what to expect.
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