I Need A Toddler 101 Crash Course

Being an instant mom and all, I’m in need of a little help. OK, I’m in need of more than just a little help but I’ve made some new discoveries lately. Or perhaps it’s more that Younger Boy has made some new discoveries and I’m perplexed about how to go about them.

Butt Dunking
If I’m home alone with Younger Boy I’m usually the one who responds to the call of “I need a wipe!” If I’m home with my future hubby I totally share the love and let him know that it’s his turn to respond to the call of action. (He’s so wonderful and always cooperates!) Anyway, this very morning I heard the call and I went in there.

Younger Boy popped up off the seat and assumed the “wipe” position. That’s when I noticed that his butt was dripping with water. And then the light bulb went on in my head. All those times I wondered why there was water on the toilet seat (and it really was water not straight I missed the bowl urine) and all those times I’d found random water sloshes on the floor. I’d even seen Younger Boy balancing himself over the seat lid and dipping low enough. Here I was thinking he was just trying to get his aim and balance right. No! That boy has been dunking his butt into the water when he poops! (The dirty sloshes of water also make sense now because I sure as hell could not figure out how poopy water was getting onto the top of the toilet seat.)

So, do you think repeatedly telling him that dipping your butt into the toilet water just isn’t a good idea because it’s dirty and has germs and could get you (or me) sick? I’d totally get the kid a bidet if we had room, could afford it, and I thought that the rest of the family would be appreciative of it, but that’s a little out of the way budget and room wise right now.

The Killer Bugs
Younger Boy has developed a recent and new fear of bugs. I assume it has something to do with the bee that he angered one day at the park. My future hubby and the boys were playing some baseball when Younger Boy came tearing ass in the middle of it and a big, black bee was tailing him. He, luckily, avoided any stinging. However, the poor love has sure as heck has been scared of bugs since.

I’ve tried convincing him that not all bugs are totally bad and that he’s bigger then them. However, that’s not the easiest task when bees, yellow jackets and wasps are small too.

So if you have any ideas on how to soothe his fear that would be great too.

Thomas is Boring
Younger Boy needs new toys. By “new toys” I mean really great stimulating toys that aren’t Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends. That’s really all he has. He loves his Play-doh, and Finger Painting and the larger (pre-school sized) legos. He also loves coloring and tearing the paper off of crayons. However, there are a lot of hours in the day and once he’s done all those things all he has left is Thomas. And he has been getting really bored of Thomas in which he declares "Crys, I don't want to play with Thomas." (Which I’ve been trying to tell his aunts and grandmothers since they’re the ones who keep buying him Thomas stuff, but of course he’s always willing to play with them if you have them for him so it doesn’t help his cause when he’s sitting at home bored out of his mind because he’s tired of playing with Thomas.)

So, I’ve never been a little boy. All the experience I have with little boys has been with infant boys or boys 10 years old or older. I have no idea what kind/types of toys would be good for an active, curious and creative 3-year-old. I’m wondering if possibly those really big, big puzzles or in general some more puzzles would be good for him. And by regular “puzzles” I mean the types that have just a fire truck or a square and you match the object to its respective hole.

We got him a lift-the-flap interactive Spot the dog book also, but when I'm working during the day I need something that he can play with. Any independent toy ideas are welcome because I’m just apparently out of the loop of what it out there now-a-days.

I need a care sheet like the ones I’ve prepared for bird and small animal owners that lists the different toy groups and the different types of play. They say parrots are like toddlers. Maybe I can use the bird one…that’s an starting point! Right?