Thursday, March 12, 2009

A Crown Royal On the Rocks Kind of Night

I always have these really great and fun blog entries planned. And then something or someone steps in and really ruins it.

Yesterday was a Crown Royal on the Rocks kind of night. It started off with Younger Boy exploding water, corn and other foods that I so preciously cooked into a delicious soup across the kitchen floor – straight from his three-year-old mouth. And then Older Boy had quite the meltdown over fractions. And then Younger Boy really topped the cake when he picked the scab off of his nose (that’s been my latest mission impossible with him – I’ll have to blog about it soon). And I also got to go to the hospital to get blood work done (because the doctor believes I have the opposite of diabetes but can’t really diagnose or help me out with it without seeing the test results). So I also felt like crap because my body is revolting against me.

So there I was … sitting on the couch relaxing after downing a smooth delicious glass of Crown on the Rocks … when the phone rang. It was after 9pm and there was really only one person I believed it to be. And from the tone in my fiancé’s voice I could tell I was right – Jane.

Jane, who is supposed to be taking the boys out for dinner on Thursday because she can’t see them this Sunday. Jane who decided to go back to work and has been dicking around taking her sweet time, and allegedly, from my personal observation, totally incapable of figuring out what her work schedule was going to be so that we could work out a new Visitation Schedule with her. Jane who got her job back and has been calling in sick so that she didn’t have to go into work (and so that she could spend time with the boys since you know, she’s incapable of making effort in sitting down and talking to her work people about what days she can have off so that she can see them).

Then I heard the word "Friday" uttered from my fiancé and I was enraged. Allegedly her day off was changed last minute to Friday, which totally screwed up my plans to actually get a day alone with my fiancé. Friday there are already plans that do not involve us spending some quality time together. (It's been a really long time since we've spent some quality time together.)

And that pushed the meltdown button.

I tried really hard not to cry. I tried really hard not to let out a spew of obscenities about what an irresponsible, selfish, low-life, sorry excuse of a human being she is. I held in the temper tantrum of how “Not Fair” it was and how F’ing stupid it was. So I hopped in the shower where I tried not to cry but I did anyway.

When I hopped out I found out that my fiancé had called her back, but apparently this week she just couldn’t change it back. But apparently she’s going to be available every Thursday now. And now if only I can find out when her other day off is I would be that much happier. I’m not really all that willing to change my life and the kids’ plans around every week because she’s irresponsible and is playing the helpless victim.

It’s just so stupid that we work so hard with her to try and set up her days with the boys, and at the same time try to provide the boys with opportunities to see their cousins, go to the library, and do other fun things and then have to let them down and tell them, “I’m sorry, you can’t go see/do that today. You’re going to see Jane.” It’s just not very fair to them. Why should they have to miss out on having fun because she can’t get her shit together? All they do when they go over to her house is sit on their butts watching movies and video games. She doesn't even spend time interacting with them. It seems so cruel to make them do those activities when they know they could be doing something else … something else that they were looking forward to doing. It makes me so mad that she does this to them. She should be living her life and making changes to make their lives better. Not for her convenience. It’s so maddening that she doesn’t even seem inclined to do this for her own children.

She can have her Friday, but seriously … Grow the hell up and take some responsibility for your life Jane!

Thank you for listening to my vent of frustration.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's a lot of work to continue to give yourself the pep talk of "I'm making all the effort for the kids...it's for the kids...they'll thank me when they're older...they'll understand someday" when that someday is so darn far away. If responsibility could be bottled up we could market it to split/blended families and make a fortune! Hang in there.

Minnie said...

Having been on the "other" side of this, revenge is sweet my dear Ladies.

My Kidlets are just now (in their teens) saying things that make me realize they know that they got "pawned" off on us when she wanted to party. Acknowleding we missed events at the last minute because her "schedule changed."

Many a Friday nights I've eaten pizza in a cocktail dress, and years later, it's worth it.

Keep the crown handy, but please don't give up, there IS light at the end of this shit show.

Kathleen said...

Hey, I figure it's time for me to delurk. :) I've been reading stepmoms' blogs in the past few months. I've had so many of the "Yes! I know! That happens to other people too? I'm not the only one who feels/thinks/wants to drink (ha!) this way?!" moments while reading your blog (and some of the other SMs' blogs).

My boyfriend's ex-wife reminds me of Jane sometimes. She doesn't seem to think about the consequences of her actions on her son, and it is very frustrating and heartbreaking.

All I can say is good luck. I felt your pain on this one because when things change or plans are impossible to make, it's freaking hard sometimes. And, I'm so glad you blog! :)

Crys said...

Just Me: Too bad that can't bottle that stuff. I'd totally buy stock in it if it was. He he. Those pep talks are definitely my game plan.

Minnie: Thank you for sharing the light at the end of the tunnel. I keep reminding myself that one day they'll hopefully realize what's really going on. I figure take every success you gain, right?

Kathleen: Thanks for popping in! If anything blogging has definitely kept me sane. Every day seems to be a new challenge and the wonderful women I've met on here seem to be the only ones that understand. I'm glad that you've been able to find some relief that you're not the only one!