I seriously need to work at this “relaxing” and “letting it out” thing. I’m exhausted from staying up so late last night, but it made a huge difference. Instead of holding all those feelings inside which kept building up and up, I got them out.
I felt the difference when I heard “I have a drippy nose” about 12 times this afternoon in one go, and I was able to ignore it and not get all anxious and frustrated. I also took the time to finish off my cappuccino cheesecake that I got over in Napa this weekend.
There was an experience I wanted to share. As mentioned here, Tuesday I got to bring Middle Boy to the doctors to find out how bad his possibly ear infection was. It was nerve-wrecking for me.
The last time I was in the pediatric wing of the hospital, I was a kid. I also was really nervous about the fact that I legally don’t have a say in making choices about the boys. My brain raced through anything and everyone. Mainly though “Is it OK for me to accept a prescription for him? What if the doctor asks me a question that I don’t know the answer too? What if something has to be done, I don’t think I’m allowed to make that decision. Where the hell is that fiancé of mine?!?” I wasn't even supposed to be the one bringing him, but my fiancé was running quite late getting home from work.
Their doctor is a nice woman, although I really could have done without the sarcasm. (This coming from the princess of sarcasm.) She was talking to the boys and then side talking about me to the boys. She was being serious, and humorous I guess. But it made me feel like a big dumb ass. Of course I knew that kid Robitessin doesn’t help the pain for an ear ache. BUT, the warm compress that we put on his ear helped, a lot. And that was without someone feeding words into Middle Boy’s mouth. And he got the kid Robitessin because he also had a gnarly congested cough, and I know that you’re supposed to try and get them to cough all the phlegm up, but that’s all I had. I didn’t have kid Motrin or Tylenol and I didn’t want to risk giving an adult Advil.
Anyway, she didn’t really give me a chance to introduce myself. She could only assume who I was, as I obviously wasn’t Jane. And my fiancé had updated her on the situation of their lives. I tried a couple of times, but she cut me off each time with some more of her (not exactly mockery) but making a dumb fool of me.
The best was when she looked at Middle Boy and asked him who I was ... Like he was supposed to introduce me.
Doc: And who is this? *head nod toward me*
MB: That’s my mom. *in the duh tone*
Doc: *Total look of confusion*
From her reaction I almost wanted to jump on the defense to let her know “I didn’t tell him to call me that.” Not that I’m upset by it, I found it rather caring that he’s given me this responsibility and has let all the other adults (his teachers, the bus driver) know that is my responsibility. I basically told the boys that they can call me what ever they want as long as it’s respectful and not mean. So they call me by my name, but to everyone else I’m their mom. It’s caused quite a bit of confusion, but most people in their lives know what’s going on and have gotten used to it. Although I can’t say the same for Jane, but I don’t put too much worry into what she thinks about it.
Anyway, the look on her face made me first anxious, but then I calmed down. She really couldn’t argue with him. Have you ever tried arguing with a kindergartner? I don’t recommend it unless you have really good physical and strong proof.
At the end, I finally got a chance to introduce myself. That’s when she asked how my baby was. I looked at her so confused, because I really was.
Doc: Didn’t you just have a baby?
Me: Nope, not me. *Really confused here*
Doc: Didn’t someone just have a baby?
Me: Oh, their mother did actually. You must mean her.
Doc: Yeah, that must be it. *awkward silent pause*
Me: Yup. *Because I really wanted to talk about Jane and her new baby. Not really, but I’ve learned some good moves to let it slide over and then change the subject.*
My fiancé got there just as we were finishing up Middle Boy’s appointment. I guess late is better than never.
Anyway, that was my first hospital experience with the boys (or at least my first boy-related hospital experience). I’ve been there enough for my own issues these past couple of months.
I really dislike going to the hospital. But that alone just spiked up my dislike for going there even more.
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4 comments:
I've been lucky. I've only had to take one of my stepkids to the doctor once, and it was just for a sports physical so I just sat in the waiting room until he was done. I didn't have to answer any questions.
I think the conversation with the doctore is quite funny! :-)
I never had any trouble (or experienced nervousness) taking my stepsons or Jazmine to the doctor's office, and I handled all of that due to my husband's work hours. I just looked at it as another job that I had to do as a mother/aunt.
But oddly, the health care professionals that I encountered always seemed glad that someone was making sure that the kids stayed healthy and never questioned my "right" or role. Jazmine's doctor even thanked me saying she personally appreciated what I was doing for my niece!
Eeek! I remember worrying about taking them to the doctor and having to answer questions that I didn't know the answer to. Fortunately for me the kids didn't even have a regular doctor when Brian and I got together so their doctors just assume I'm mom unless I say otherwise. Hang in there, it will get easier.
Not liking this doctor lady. No reason for her degrade you, or make you feel dumb. It's inconsiderate. And especially if you trying to teach the boys to be respectful. Does she think it's okay to be a bad example to kids?
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