I had a fantastic weekend. I had to travel to So Cal for my company’s annual banquet, and then I discovered that I can still take shots like a champion, dance like a pro and wake up the next morning and function pretty decently. Although I’m pretty sure I killed some brain cells with my multiple Red Bull and Peach Stoli drinks. I’m sure the purple hooter, red headed slut, and Jaeger bomb didn’t help much either. I woke up, walked around a bit with my best friend Summer and said “Today I feel stupider for some reason.”
Anyway, I had a fantastic weekend full of booze and dancing, and I’ve stumbled upon a grand discovery. Its official folks … I’ve transitioned into a mom. Let me share.
Occurrence One
After the banquet I went to the traditional hangout bar with some of my co-workers. I was sitting with some of them, whom I consider good friends, when I opened up my purse to look for lip gloss. I’m digging, digging, digging around when I fish out a Hot Wheels car. (Do note that all the co-workers at my table are male.) So there I was, holding up a green, shiny Hot Wheels car. My friend Ben didn’t even try to keep from commenting. The look on his face said plenty.
Crys: Shut up *In no particular direction, but mainly to anyone that was plotting something smart to say*
Ben: That’s awesome.
Crys: Don’t say it.
Ben: You’ve become a mom.
Will: Look, she has two cars!
Oh yes folks, a nice shiny orange Hot Wheels car managed its way into view. I then took the opportunity to see what else I had. Last year if you looked into my purse you would have found: pens, old receipts, my wallet, tampons and condoms. Well, Friday I found that my purse now contains: pens, old receipts, my wallet, tampons, two Hot Wheels cars, eight crayons, four mini-lollipops, three disfigured Rolos and two Kung Fu Panda stickers. Oh yeah, the males at the table really got a hoot out of that.
Occurrence Two
Saturday night my friends, my sister Wendy and I were heading out to a night club to get to some good boozing and dancing. I’m in the front seat with my friend Ben. Wendy and Summer are in the backseat. The conversation goes:
Wendy: Ben, will you take me to the bank near the club?
Crys: *turns around* How do you ask?
Wendy: Ben, will you please take me to the bank near the club? *Don’t forget to emphasize the please.*
Ben: You’re such a mom. You didn’t even have to think about it before you said it.
Crys: Shut up.
Those have been the most significant occurrences that I’ve actually noticed. Others include the fact that I have a photo of the boys in my wallet and was readily willing to pull it out upon request this weekend. It was rather, interesting … funny … weird and strange to realize that my lives have so successfully merged into becoming “the mom” that I have become.
OK, I’m laughing. I admit it’s far too amusing not to.
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4 comments:
HA! so funny you mention this. I too had a weekend full of old friends. We got together at a friend’s new house sat night with a bunch of girls from college and I found myself moving full cups out of range of their drinker's elbows (because you know they will knock them on the floor), keeping knives away from the edge of the counter (because I was SURE there were toddlers somewhere that could grab them) and doing the dishes as the group started to disperse.
Haha. That's great! At least you haven't turned into the "in bed by 9" mom yet. Hope you enjoyed your time in So Cal!
Tell me about it! Pull-ups and goldfish often hang out in my purse nowdays!
Most of my friends are still in the amusement stage about me being a stepmom. I was somehow pegged long ago as the one to never settle down! Now I find myself reprimanding adults in public for not saying "please" and watching other people's kids in stores and looking at cars wondering if the kids' bikes would fit into them :)
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