The Vodka On Top Of The Fridge

I spent the whole weekend with my boyfriend and his family. His parents were down to celebrate their anniversary so we brought the boys over to both of his sisters’ houses (Saturday and Sunday) to hang out with everyone.

I love his family. But sometimes I feel like such an outsider. It makes me kind of sad. I know that I have the rest of my life to build new relationships, but right now it kind of sucks. I love hearing stories of when they were growing up. It’s quite humorous.

I think what makes me feel like such an outsider is that my life has been completely different than theirs, and it makes me feel like a wild, party girl. (And although I did have my party days, they’re not quite what I know a wild, party girl is.)

I’ve found that sometimes I’ll say something that is obvious to me, from my life experiences. And the boyfriend looks at me like “what?” It has happened while with his family too. I forget how it came up, but I brought up Beer Pong. And I got the “What?” look. And then he asked some of the others there and I got multiple “What?” looks. And it was far simpler to just stop from there than to continue on. And I lived this really independent life for so many years! All of them got married young, all have at least two kids minimum. (All the siblings, no joke!) So sometimes I feel like the young out of control wild child teenager compared to them.

And man, do I ever feel like a party girl when I’m with them. I don’t drink every day, nor do I get out of control. But I do enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner or a delicious cocktail now and then. I grew up with alcohol in my family. My dad would have a glass of red wine every night with his dinner. My mother is a tequila connoisseur. I’ve worked on becoming an amateur wine taster and learning all about the different wines. I’m aware of alcoholism, and I don’t believe that my drinking habits even come close to alcoholism or being out of control. (As I have seen it in real life with family and friends.) But when you’re with a family that hardly ever drinks, and with a boyfriend that literally just started drinking (mainly more because he’s met me and my family) well … I feel like I’ve corrupted him. I feel almost evil, and dirty, and wrong.

His parents were over last night to look at the apartment. We had bottles of Vanilla Absolute, Strawberry Stoli, Hazelnut Kahlua, the remains of some Strawberry Margarita mix and some nasty Mike’s Hard Lemonade bottles (his because man that stuff is nasty) on top of the fridge. (Off Topic, if you’re looking for a tasty White Russian mix – I recommend a 1 part vanilla vodka, 2 parts Hazelnut Kahlua and the rest half and half or whole milk. So good!) On Topic, I heard his mother being motherly and, in that worried motherly tone, reminding him that alcoholism runs in his family. (It reminded me of my mother except she starts off with “Don’t forget depression runs in our family…”) But it made me kind of flinch as I sat there at my computer working.

Every time we see family (either his or mine) it’s like he’s discovered something new that he likes or dislikes and has to share it. He likes Corona. He likes White Merlot wine. He likes margaritas. However, he’s not fond of straight liquor, and I really don’t foresee the two of us toasting over Irish Car Bombs together in the future. There was another time this weekend when it was jokingly pointed out that the boyfriend didn’t drink until he met me. And I know that it was jokingly, but man … I dislike being blamed for the choices people make. (Not that they were accusingly pointing a finger. I guess it’s just a tender spot to push with me.) Do I influence people? It’s a possibility. I’ve been told “I blame you” for a lot of thins. I believe that anyone can be a role model or influence (good or bad) in a person’s life. But it’s how the person being influenced perceives and acts upon this influence. Man, I hope that made sense.

It makes me wonder about how our wedding is going to be. I can see it now. My family would be on one side with the glasses of alcohol, laughing and being their crazy selves (sober or not), and his family in the corner with their sodas, looking upon us all saying “Tsk, Tsk.” OK, maybe not completely 8th grade school dance. I’ve had drinks with his sisters before. But still … sometimes I feel like the wild, fraternity sweetheart college girl in the group. And it’s not a bad thing, but it can just be an awkward thing. I guess it’s something we’ll all just have to work on accepting.