Children Discovering They CAN Do It

I have been living in the joy of firsts the past week or so with Younger Boy. I’ve realized that there is nothing quite as exciting, beautiful or heart warming as when a child realizes that he CAN do something by himself. I think part of it is that when I first came I realized just how not independent the boys were, and ever since I moved in with them in September last year I’ve been working ever so hard to help the boys each to discover their independence.

However since most of my time is spent with Younger Boy I’ve noticed his light bulb going on a lot more. Last week while Middle Boy was at Jane’s on his special weekend we brought the boys to the swimming pool. We had signed up the two older boys for swimming lessons so they could learn how to swim and gain some confidence in the water. (And I felt a whole lot safer about them going to the pool with Jane if they at least had some of the basics down.)

I personally had never been to a pool with Younger Boy. He’s gone before with my fiancé, Jane and his Auntie Allison. However I had never gone with him. I didn’t know how he had been allowed to participate in the water or what others had generally taught him about the water. We put a little life vest on him so that he would at least be able to float.

At the pool itself and brought him into the water past the steps he started clinging to the wall or me for dear life. I decided that for that time in the pool I was going to teach him how to blow bubbles and feel more comfortable in the pool. It got to the point where he was no longer clinging to the wall or me, just simple holding my hand. I taught him to kick his legs and eventually we were gliding across the pool … I was pulling him and he was kicking. We all decided to climb in the hot tub to warm up before we went back home. That’s when he looked up and me and my fiancé and declared “I can learn to swim!” And with that he was pushing off from one side, gliding across and floating himself.

After we had returned home and dechlorinated I found out from my fiancé that as far as he knew Younger Boy had never had that experience before. I felt proud of myself and very proud of Younger Boy for not only taking the challenge on, but for realizing that he can do something himself.

Another thing he’s been learning is that he can brush his teeth by himself. We used to do it for him and over the weekend I had the idea that “Maybe I can brunch my teeth with him.” I figured if the boy could learn to wipe his butt then he could by far learn to brush his teeth. I wasn’t sure how much he’d grasp but figured it wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot.

We stood side by side looking in the big mirror in the bathroom and he mimicked my movements while I brushed my teeth. It was really exhilarating when he realized that he was brushing his teeth like I was. His eyes got big, he got a look of excitement and then his eyes glittered with joy. I about jumped for joy myself watching him.

Despite the frustration of raising a toddler (much less a toddler that has just had to go through a divorce and the confusion of having Jane as a mother) I have absolutely been embracing this chance to raise a child and teach him how to do things. These little accomplishments that each of the boys has reached since I’ve moved in help me realize that maybe I’m not doing all that bad of a job after all.

Updates: Nasty Cat is home from kitty jail. He’s been rather lovey dovey ever since he came home and by that I mean that he’s wanted to be pet and cuddled a lot more than he used to want from us.

Also we’re going on vacation next week up in Oregon and Washington. So please don’t think that I’m ignoring you or have disappeared into the land of the unknown. I’ll be back and I’m sure I’ll have all kinds of stories to share. And I’m totally using all of your road trip tips that you have been posting.