Adventures on the Road to Becoming an Independent Wiper

As you may recall, I’m currently working with Younger Boy to be an independent wiper. And by “independent wiper” I mean that one of these days we will not have to go through the formalities of how he currently wipes his butt after pooping. And I thought I would take a moment to share some of our adventures on the journey to Younger Boy becoming an independent wiper.

Adventure One – It looks like…
YB: I have to go poop.
Me: OK.
*a couple minutes later*
YB: I need a wipe!
Me: Then wipe! You know how.
YB: Like a square?
Me: Yup! Like a square.*Sneaks over about 30 seconds later to check on the progress of the wipe*
YB: *Standing next to the toilet, pants around his ankles, staring into the poopie toilet paper. Notices me peering around the corner and smiles a huge grin.* I have poop! It looks like chocolate!
Me: *Horror of the comparison of chocolate and horrid actions of what this could result in fills my mind* But it’s poop. Drop it in the toilet.
YB: It looks like chocolate! *Looks at poopie toilet paper again with curiosity*
Me: But it’s poop. So please drop it in the toilet.
YB: *Drops soiled poopie paper in the toilet and looks at me again.* But it looks like chocolate.

He did the same thing the next day. Except this time I didn’t wander over there. I trust that he didn’t do any taste testing; otherwise I’m sure I would have heard a disgusted outcry. But he did, again, make the comparison. Today (three days later) the shiny awesome of “It looks like chocolate” must have worn off. I haven’t heard it yet today.

Adventure Two – What about me?!?
YB: I have to go poop.
Me: OK.
*a couple minutes later*
YB: I need a wipe!
Me: Then wipe! You know how.
YB: Like a square?
Me: Yup! Like a square.
*About 30 seconds later*
YB:*shrill disbelief in his tone* Hey! What about me?!?
Me: *What the? OH DAMMIT!*

The toilet paper roll was just about out! I made it to the bathroom in a couple of swift strides. There stood Younger Boy, his pants around his ankles looking at the empty roll of toilet paper with a confused and sad and frustrated look on his face. He looked up at me with those sad, confused dark brown eyes.

YB: What about me?

It was actually kind of funny and cute, but I held onto my concerned look. I grabbed a new roll and switched it out.

Me: Don’t worry, I got you.
YB: Thank you!

So lessons learned:
1. Maybe don’t react with horror when the discovery that poops looks like chocolate. I think he enjoyed terrorizing me. However, I’m still glad that I made sure to make the distinction that poop is definitely not chocolate.
2. If it’s just you and the toddler in the house and the toilet paper roll is almost empty, just change it. It will save a lot of trouble.