In Memory of "The Plan"

As a young high school girl, you plan...atleast I had a plan. Not just a plan, I had "The Plan." The Plan was thought out in detail, although not thought out well. The Plan had deadlines, goals in mind and it was my own creation. The latter made it easy to modify The Plan.

The original Plan: I would get married when I was 21. Have my first kid by 22. My second kid by 25. And then live happily ever after.

After I graduated from high school and went to college, the plan had its first modification.

Modified Plan 1: I would graduate from college in 4 years and begin a successful career as a magazine editor. Get married when I was 23. Have my first kid by 25 and my second kid by 27. And then live happily every after.

And of course, by the time I was 21 and had decided that I was going to transfer colleges ... it was modified a second time. And then by the time I actually graduated from college, with my degree at least, and had seen the ways of the world I realized more modifications to The Plan would have to be made. In fact, The Plan became more of a list.

- Graduate from college (Check)
- Get a job in chosen profession of journalism that I love (Check)
- Find decent boyfriend that would meet qualifications to possibly become good husband ( )
- Get married ( )
- Have first kid by 26 ( )
- Have second kid by 29 ( )
- Live happily ever after ( )

This list stayed this way (checkmarks and lack of) for about two years. And instead of trying to make more modifications, I just made the following goals:

- Find decent boyfriend that would be interested in serious relationship that could potentially become a husband
- Get married by 30
- Have 2 kids by 34

And I got comfortable with these goals...and I think fate got wind of that. Because I got a curve ball.

My Seventh grade sweetheart and I got back together after years and years of not communicating. Funny how sometimes the things you wish and hope for come true when you least expect them too. So there's one goal down. But that's not the curve ball.

The curve ball are the three wonderful boys that came with him. And how I love those boys. We've taken them to Disneyland, we've taken them camping, we've done quite a few family things to get things started off on the right foot. (Considering their mother chose not to be a part of their lives is another curve ball, but that's a later entry.)

Our families have, or at least seemed, to accept us and support us.

But all this love and support doesn't make it any less scary. It's not exactly an easy transition to go from being the "27-Year-Old Single, Independent Career Oriented Girl with a cat" to the "27-Year-Old Instant Mom of Three, living with boyfriend, having to find a new job, with a cat."

It's a challenge I obviously chose to make, and I happily take it on. But seriously? That's practically culture shock. Don't get me wrong, I adore taking care of kids. I've been baby sitting for years now and have my own "Kids" that I've watched grow up and are in high school or graduating from college about now. I've worked as part of a staff in child development centers for a couple of years. And, I've studied child/parent relationships, communicating with children and even the sociology of families. But all this studying/babysitting/working in child development still leaves me feeling un-knowing about quite a few things.

And there's no Rule Book or Guide Book for this. And if there is anything close to it, Trust me, my situation doesn't apply. It's so beautifully chaotic and strange, it's a bit mindblowing just trying to find the words to accurately describe it.

So back on the topic of this post ... The Plan has been changed. And I don't mean just a few minor modifications. I mean that sucker has been shredded, re-drafted, erased and re-written.

It actually looks something more like an equation:

(quit job) + (move in with guy & kids) x (A)(B)/(C) = Live Happily Ever After

Actually, at this point (3 1/2 weeks until I officially move in) I don't think that a final version of The Plan has even been finalized.

So much for The Plan...