Older Boy Is Blossoming

I am ever so thankful that the boys are all younger than tween years. I’m able to still work with them on behavior and teach responsibility young enough for them to hopefully grasp it into their teenage years. However, I am even more thankful for Older Boy. He just turned 9 and is old enough to grasp things. I am sad that he’s had to experience the heartache and pain of having his parents divorce, but I am glad that he’s been able to see the positive changes and is starting to grasp the right from the wrong.

Older Boy is very motherly, however I’ve been working with him to be less “I’ll do it for you” and more “I’m going to help show you/teach you how to do it for yourself” with his younger brothers. (I’ve had to do the same lesson with my fiancé but I’m proud to say that he’s caught on to his lesson on that very well.) Backing up a bit, I’m very thankful for Older Boy.

Older Boy has helped me to potty train Younger Boy. And he’s helped to be the good example of how to do it with him for other things too. He’s helped to be an example of how to be a big boy and eat your food. He’s helped to be an example of how to buckle your seat belt. And he’s also been oh so helpful in being the example of how to do the right thing, and what to do when you see others doing the wrong thing (although we’re still in the process of that but slow and steady is better then not at all).

I think that this “Helping to teach” his younger brothers has been helping to boost his confidence in himself and helping him to feel more independent as well. My latest request for him was actually to help show Middle Boy how to do something.

Usually Older Boy will help me out by sitting with Middle Boy while he reads to help with words he gets stuck on. However, lately I decided that Middle Boy really needed a lesson on how to properly brush his teeth. And by properly brush his teeth I mean not to make a giant foaming mess that will end up on my shirt hem or pants when I go to put my contacts in/do my hair or make up. Older Boy was up to the challenge. Not only was he awesome and show Middle Boy how he brushes his teeth, but he also stayed to watch Middle Boy brush his teeth and even was very helpful in providing tips and reminders to Middle Boy like “spit in the middle of the sink” and “don’t allow the foam to just fall out of your mouth and onto the counter top.”

I was making lunches for them while they were doing this, but all I could think was, “Thank goodness for Older Boy!”

I’ve also been trying to connect with him as being the oldest child in the family. (My fiancé is the youngest in his.) I think he’s been pretty thankful that he has another older child to relate too. Whenever we have to do the “You’re the older brother and you have to set the example” sort of thing I always tell him one of my experiences that I had to learn about being the good example for my younger sister. It probably also helps that my mother tells him stories of the time I messed up and what I learned growing up as the older child.

It is absolutely amazing to me how much Older Boy has blossomed since I moved in. He started off being this really quiet and not very confident boy in his shell all the time. He’s a thinker that observes the situation at first, but he’s really started to come out of his shell and be more of a participant than just an observer. I think having people who encourage him, challenge him, and show him that there are so many opportunities out there and all you have to do is try has really helped him a lot.