Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Younger Boy’s Behavior

Younger Boy has always seemed to have a hard time leaving behind the “need” to be the baby. I wasn’t sure if part of it was because Jane and Jolie continued to baby him even after he was old enough to be independent, if it was because Jane had a baby and he was envious of the fact that him mommy had a baby that got to live with her and he didn’t, or if it was a combination of the two. I would assume it’s a combination. He’s been the one who had the hardest time bouncing back after a visit with Jane. In meaning, after he came back he took the longest to snap out of the undesirable behaviors he had since left behind.

When he started kindergarten he really started showing signs of maturing and leaving behind the “need” to be the baby. He even bounced back quickly after staying with Jane overnight. However, as of the last month or so I’ve notice he’s been in rare form. And by rare form I mean he’s been challenging, frustrating and almost completely irritating to one that gets a limited amount of sleep as it is.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that he is 5-years-old and just a little kid. I’m also aware that I’m exhausted and perhaps my patience isn’t as strong as it once was. These behaviors are somewhat new, while some are old behaviors with a new twist. I think the issue might be somewhere along the lines that Younger Boy is no longer the baby in our home and a possible struggle with now being a middle younger boy.

When Baby J.C. first came home he was rather excited and was still on somewhat good behavior for the most part. And as time passed I noticed that his behavior was sliding. Younger Boy and Middle Boy have always been at it. I touched lightly on it in the last post. I think it’s a clash of personalities. Middle Boy is very much self-centered and Younger Boy will not put up with the way Middle Boy treats him. However, Younger Boy has been getting more aggressive with not putting up with Middle Boy. I’m not sure what else to do outside of the continuance of the “Treat others as you want to be treated,” “Be kind to others,” and “Hitting, biting and hurting our brother is not OK.”

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when we went to do our family photos and Younger Boy was the one who was acting out. The photographer spent more time trying to get Younger Boy to smile and cooperate than Baby J.C. It occurred to me that perhaps Younger Boy is at a point that he’s acting out to get attention. And last night he purposely stuffed far too much food in his mouth and then gagged and threw it up. This behavior isn’t new but usually I’m able to prevent it from happening.

Later that night we had a talk, mainly me being completely frustrated and explaining to him that I wasn’t OK with his behavior lately. I’m always curious to see how Younger Boy’s growing up process and view of how things are is because he was so young when Jane left. I know with him being young we can definitely still work with him on behaviors. Just this morning I made sure to reward his good behaviors by thanking him and pointing it out.

I guess that’s all I can really do at the moment. He’s still learning, and testing what he can and can’t get away with as he gets older, in addition to learning more about himself. The positive outlook is that this morning he was back to being on good behavior and not causing any major problems. That was a refreshing start to the day. I hope this post made sense. I’m really tired and am not entirely confident that my thought process is working correctly.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Hi everyone, I wanted to drop in since I think it has been forever since I’ve written anything. I’m trying to remember to at least come on and read what all of you are writing but even that is trying lately. I’ve been exhausted and a lot has been going on. I’ll try to update really quick and painless. I’ve learned that even though I may feel like I’m Super Woman who can do everything – caring for a new baby, a family of 6, a cat and working is my limit. In fact, it’s probably over the limit, but since it has to be done I’m managing. It helps that we’ve been teaching the boys to be more independent because they’re able to do more for themselves and help us out more.

FH got a New Job
And this means he now works Saturdays, which means that I need to stay at home and hold down the fort. We had our first Saturday this past weekend. Baby J.C. had decided that going to bed before 3:30am three nights in a row was perfectly acceptable and by Saturday I could not get out of bed. Luckily, Older Boy is able to help do things like get breakfast going for his brothers. Unluckily, Middle Boy and Younger Boy have really been going at it lately. And their poor choices in behavior + a cranky me = no fun times for anyone.

Middle Boy & Younger Boy
I’m not sure if it’s now the battle of the middle brothers or what now that we have a baby around that sucks up a lot of energy. But they have really been going at it. Middle Boy will try to boss Younger Boy around. And Younger Boy just will not have any of it. This results in someone getting mad, someone getting hurt, someone crying, and then I go up there to ask what’s going on and then suddenly both of them are crying because they know they both made a sad choice somewhere in there. This leaves me exhausted without even putting effort into it.

New Baby = Extra Energy
I’m not going to lie. I really enjoy it when Jane or Jolie takes the boys overnight. It’s not that I don’t want them here, but it’s a nice break. Even with them being more independent there’s still extra effort in having them here. And a break, even if it’s just overnight is really nice. I get frustrated sometimes because I’m learning how to care for a baby, and yet I’m still expected to be the full time mom for the kids. I think sometimes I’m upset that I’m not getting to experience this first time baby experience kidless or without the pressure of having three other children to care for. It’s hard to drag my butt out of bed to get the boys to school some mornings, especially the ones where I go to bed after 2am and have to wake up at 6am. It is absolutely draining.

Baby J.C. has changed a lot for me. Little things like me continuing to have to cut out caffeine and cow’s milk, and big things. I never imagined one could love someone so much. I’m still left breathless when I watch her sleep. But she definitely takes up a lot of energy … Especially if I’m up late into the early hours of morning because she has bad gas or got too over stimulated that day.

All in all, things over here are good.