Tuesday, January 25, 2011

From “The Boys” to “A Boy”

My parent’s have been wonderful in terms of accepting my instant family as their own. A photo of the boys hangs in their living room, the boys get excited when they find out we’re seeing them and give them both hugs, and my parents have shown a great interest in the boys well being.

Starting last summer they started making arrangements to spend some one-on-one time with the boys. Each month they take one of the boys for a night or two so the boy of the month can get some individual time away.

This month was Older Boy’s turn. My dad brought him to a Shark’s hockey game and got him a hockey puck. I got a great photo text from my mom of him sleeping with his puck. It was really cute. I also found out that Older Boy was rather sad to have to leave.

At first I thought “oh, he doesn’t enjoy home” then I wizened up and realized it’s because he had just had the rare luxury of being an only kid for a couple of days. We try to make sure to spend individual time with each of them when we can, but with four kids (one being an infant) now that is a bit hard sometimes.

They also have always been the three of them for so long now I wonder if everyone kind of views them as “the boys.” And if it’s not the three of them it’s two of them. Because of their situation being in the spotlight really is a luxury to them. I didn’t think much of it until my told me about a conversation with my cousin’s fiancĂ©.

He too was a child of divorce. And when he found out that my parent’s were the ones who asked if they could spend some get to know you time with each of the boys alone said “I wish someone had thought to do that with me.”

I too had a younger sibling, but I did get alone time here or there. OR if both of us went over to a family friend’s place there were siblings our age so we weren’t stuck with just each other to play with.

I’ve gotten the impression that perhaps the boys are tired of being “the boys” and would each like to be “a boy.” I may not be able to control how others treat them, and I may not always be able to do something lavish like take them out on a Crys and boy dinner date, but I’d like to see FH and I make more of an effort to single each boy out.

We’ve started with Older Boy by making sure he has a day to help make dinner each week. FH has come up with some activities that he can do with each boy also. I think it’s important for him to try and spend some more one-on-one time with each of them. We’ve brainstormed some other ideas too but I’d love to hear of any suggestions on ideas or personal experiences from you ladies.

Friday, January 21, 2011

January Updates and The Pee Dilemma

Some days I don’t know how I manage to do all that I do. I thought three instant kids and a cat was a bit of effort...an infant, three instant kids and a cat is much more effort. Obviously it leaves me little time for blogging and I feel rather lonely without my blog world friends. As it is, if it weren’t for Facebook and texting I probably wouldn’t be able to talk with my other friends as it is. Anyway, I’m sneaking some time away from work while the work load is light and while Miss JC is napping to come say hello.

I couldn’t let the entire month of January go by without at least one big update.

Birthday Bonanza
January is definitely a birthday bonanza. Middle Boy is now 8 and both FH and I are 30. I’m not feeling fun and flirty, but I don’t feel dirty. Thirty had definitely felt humbling. Now that I have a child of my own that feeling of real responsibility is overwhelming. I make sure to try and go have fun once a week. Even if it is with JC in tow. I find a great pleasure in sharing her with my friends and family.

Boys & The Pee Dilemma
Middle Boy and Younger Boy have continued to drive me up the wall and cause me to ponder just where that duct tape has gone. Middle Boy is learning the hard way about making good choices. He’s had many an occurrence where he has been asked to do something or not to do something and decides to do his own thing. That just doesn’t fly around here. His birthday celebration with his friends has been pushed to the end of the month because of his behavior. It’s been downgraded also to a pizza party with two of his friends.

Younger Boy seems to be completely over having a baby sister and not being the baby anymore. Although he too has shaped up his decision making also by a tad bit. His incident includes the bathroom. As the story goes…

I walked into the bathroom one night and stepped in a puddle. To my dismay it was definitely pee. (I did the paper towel test – and the towel turned yellow.) I at first thought maybe it was one of the boys but then noticed that the litterbox was a bit nasty so then changed my mind to thinking perhaps it was Nasty Cat being angry and lashing out by peeing on the floor. I vowed to clean it out the next day. I asked him why must he pee on my floor and he looked at me like I was an idiot.

I was a complete jerk Cat Mom though and forgot to clean it. So the next day I found two puddles of pee on the bathroom floor. I threw my hands in the air and under the watchful eye of Nasty Cat I cleaned out the litter box completely, sweep and mopped the floor, and then poured fresh clean litter in. Nasty Cat was quite pleased and hopped in to use it.

However, the next day I found another puddle on the floor. I was confused at this point. So I cleaned it up. Nasty Cat watched me and I asked him what his problem was. That afternoon I watched Younger Boy walk into the bathroom. After I dropped him off at his after school program I thought to go look in the bathroom and as I suspected there was a puddle of pee on the ground. I apologized to Nasty Cat who gave me the "You idiot" look. I think he was still pleased that his litter box got the grand cleaning though.

After he came home that evening I asked him if he was the one that had peed on the floor. At first he told me that he had forgotten how to pee. Then after some clever questions on my part he informed me that he peed on the floor because he “had to pee super bad.” I informed him that he needed to go to the bathroom when he felt that he had to “kind of pee” instead of having to “pee super bad.” I also informed him that if he peed on the floor he needed to clean it up himself.

This has been a struggle lately as I’ve noticed that he’s been doing his pee dance again and grabbing his crotch when he has to go instead of going. The up is that when he peed on the floor last night he did come and ask for paper towels so he could clean it up.

Baby Updates
Baby JC is now 3 months (technically on week 3 of being 3 months). She is at the phase where she is testing out her voice and she’s been babbling to herself and to me. It’s really cute. She also has learned to flip over from her stomach onto her back and is playing with some toys now. She also has discovered her feet and is a master at getting her socks off so she can play with her toes. I love it!

Here is a current pick of JC demonstrating her sock pulling skills.