A Story Of Heartache

Between Younger Boy and Jane I think I could write a novel for my blog. First off ... I’ve been totally MIA due to the fact that my job description has been updated again. Or perhaps I should say is in transition/guinea pig mode. I also have started a blog for work and that has by far sucked up my Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’m hoping to get the routine down sooner than later though because being without my stepmom blogs and feeling like I just don’t have the energy to turn a computer on after work sucks. Anyway, here I am and I have missed you all. I actually have two things to share with you, although I think I’ll share one with you now and the other with you later this week. And then I’ll follow each entry up with a Younger Boy funny.

Thing One – The Heartbreaking Story
I might as well just start with this. My mother has always worked with children. She started off working with autistic children, moved to pre-school and then into child development. Needless to say, not only have I always had a good resource on hand to bounce ideas off of, but I’ve been able to get a good experience working with different types of children. I was hanging out with my mother one afternoon when she told me a story about one of the children at her work.

This little girl is about 8 years old. Her parents have been divorced since she was 2 years old. From what I gathered she sees her mother on Thursdays. On this particular day she didn’t want to do her homework in the after school program like she’s encouraged to. She kept telling my mom and the other teachers that she would do her homework at her mom’s. She eventually had a very bad meltdown and started crying that she didn’t want to do her homework there so that her mom would help her with it.

My mom let her calm down a bit and pulled her aside and said: “I think I know what you’re doing. You’re hoping that if you bring homework to your mom’s house that she’ll sit down and work on it with you and spend some time with you.”

The little girl was amazed that her plan of action had been sought out, but agreed that was what she was doing. My mom then told her that she really hopes that her mom would sit down to work on it with her, but that in the chance that she doesn’t she hopes that she would still be able to get her homework done. And she offered this little girl to at least look over it with her in case she had any questions later.

The little girl’s mother is always on the computer. She goes over to visit her and her mom is on the computer doing who knows what. Now this not only made my heart ache, but made me really think.

I work on a computer all morning. But I really do try to take time to get off of it to go see how Younger Boy is doing. I make sure to sit down and eat lunch with him. I, of course, must stick to my work and make sure that I get my stuff done, but at the same time I need Younger Boy to know that I am here to listen to him and that I am here for him if he needs me.

This then made me think of Jane. I always get so frustrated to find out that the boys did nothing but watch TV and play video games when they visit her. I’ve asked my fiancé so many times if she spends time with them or talks with them or does stuff with them. Apparently she doesn’t. Older Boy always tells him the update. She plays online games all day. She apparently doesn’t pay much attention to her baby either. If you remember that one entry, her baby’s babysitter and best friend is the movie “Kung Fu Panda.”

Anyway, this story made me wonder if any of the boys will ever have a meltdown like this little girl did. It would tear my heart into pieces if they had to find gimmicks and ways to make Jane pay attention to them. Although, from past posts about Younger Boy’s behavior you’ve probably come to the same conclusion that I have that his outbursts and set backs in his behavior are ways to get attention from her. And he then carries them over to me. I truly know in my heart that I can’t prevent this from happening. I know that all I can do is be here for them and try my best to help them know that they are loved.

After my mom told me this I decided that I was going to spend some time with Younger Boy. My best friend was in town and we were going to go shopping at the outlets. So I brought Younger Boy with me and we had a really good time. He danced in the stores, got to eat Jelly Belly jellybeans, and even got half of a cookie from the Rocky Mountain Fudge Factory.

The funny that cracked mus both up was that every time we passed a mirror in a store he would stop and look at it.

YB: Crys! Look! It’s a picture of me!
Me: That is you, isn’t it?
YB: Look! Now it’s a picture of me as a monkey! *As he pulls out his ears and puffs up his cheeks*

It made me very happy, and amused, to see him really have a good time and laugh like that.

Younger Boy Funny
Yesterday I realized that Younger Boy is definitely going to be a guy’s guy. And by that I mean that he’s really starting to embrace the stereotypical things that make a guy a guy ... the embrace of gas.

YB: Pfffft. Eww, something farted in my mouth!
Me: Ewww that must be stinky.
YB: I love being a man

That kid might push my patience – daily – but he sure can get me cracking up.