Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Younger Boy’s Behavior

Younger Boy has always seemed to have a hard time leaving behind the “need” to be the baby. I wasn’t sure if part of it was because Jane and Jolie continued to baby him even after he was old enough to be independent, if it was because Jane had a baby and he was envious of the fact that him mommy had a baby that got to live with her and he didn’t, or if it was a combination of the two. I would assume it’s a combination. He’s been the one who had the hardest time bouncing back after a visit with Jane. In meaning, after he came back he took the longest to snap out of the undesirable behaviors he had since left behind.

When he started kindergarten he really started showing signs of maturing and leaving behind the “need” to be the baby. He even bounced back quickly after staying with Jane overnight. However, as of the last month or so I’ve notice he’s been in rare form. And by rare form I mean he’s been challenging, frustrating and almost completely irritating to one that gets a limited amount of sleep as it is.

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that he is 5-years-old and just a little kid. I’m also aware that I’m exhausted and perhaps my patience isn’t as strong as it once was. These behaviors are somewhat new, while some are old behaviors with a new twist. I think the issue might be somewhere along the lines that Younger Boy is no longer the baby in our home and a possible struggle with now being a middle younger boy.

When Baby J.C. first came home he was rather excited and was still on somewhat good behavior for the most part. And as time passed I noticed that his behavior was sliding. Younger Boy and Middle Boy have always been at it. I touched lightly on it in the last post. I think it’s a clash of personalities. Middle Boy is very much self-centered and Younger Boy will not put up with the way Middle Boy treats him. However, Younger Boy has been getting more aggressive with not putting up with Middle Boy. I’m not sure what else to do outside of the continuance of the “Treat others as you want to be treated,” “Be kind to others,” and “Hitting, biting and hurting our brother is not OK.”

The straw that broke the camel’s back was when we went to do our family photos and Younger Boy was the one who was acting out. The photographer spent more time trying to get Younger Boy to smile and cooperate than Baby J.C. It occurred to me that perhaps Younger Boy is at a point that he’s acting out to get attention. And last night he purposely stuffed far too much food in his mouth and then gagged and threw it up. This behavior isn’t new but usually I’m able to prevent it from happening.

Later that night we had a talk, mainly me being completely frustrated and explaining to him that I wasn’t OK with his behavior lately. I’m always curious to see how Younger Boy’s growing up process and view of how things are is because he was so young when Jane left. I know with him being young we can definitely still work with him on behaviors. Just this morning I made sure to reward his good behaviors by thanking him and pointing it out.

I guess that’s all I can really do at the moment. He’s still learning, and testing what he can and can’t get away with as he gets older, in addition to learning more about himself. The positive outlook is that this morning he was back to being on good behavior and not causing any major problems. That was a refreshing start to the day. I hope this post made sense. I’m really tired and am not entirely confident that my thought process is working correctly.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry things are so tough right now! I wish I had some awesome sage advice, but unfortunately no kids are in my life . . . yet. Hope you can get some rest during the holidays!!

Anonymous said...

I'm guessing Younger Boy is now realizing that the baby is a permanent fixture in the home, not something temporary, and he is acting out. Maybe his dad could spend some extra one-on-one time with him. It is also good that you are looking for the positive behaviors and rewarding him by thanking him. Keep that up and his behavior may turn around.

Smirking Cat said...

I'm sorry you are having this issue, but I was also relieved to read this because I am so frustrated with my 4 year old stepdaughter's behavior, reverting back to very babyish behavior after she spends a lot of time with her other household. Like you said, I know she is treated very much like a baby by others.