There is one concern that I have when the boys go to stay at Jane’s overnight. There isn’t anything I can really do about it, and I try not to think about it so that I’m not sick with worry, but I feel it is a legitimate concern.
OK, technically there is more than one concern for when they stay at her place overnight but this one is a big one.
It’s the car that they have. More specifically, the lack of safe seating in the car they have. Legally and safely the car she has fits 5. More specifically, it safely fits two car seats in the back and a boy in the middle and two people up front.
When they’re over there, and the whole family goes out there are two boosters, one infant seat, one child that can sit without a car seat and two adults. Are you seeing my concern here?
When I moved in with FH and the boys I inherited his mini-van. As much as I dislike and love to hate on the mini-van I am thankful for it. It fits all of us safely in a seat of our own.
Middle Boy is technically not heavy enough to not use a booster according to California Car Seat Law, but he’s really close to being at that weight. So if it has ever been a situation where someone had to be out of a booster it’s usually him. However, even if that were the case, I just don’t understand how you can fit six people in a car that is supposed to sit 5 … especially when one of them is an infant.
I know in hard times you can’t just go out and get a new car to accommodate a bigger family, but it truly bothers me that the boys’ safety is somewhere being put at risk.
I guess my question is, does anyone have experience in how to deal with a concern like this. Is “Just not thinking about it” the one way to go about it? Or what sort of things do you do to help yourself not think about such a concern when the kids are at risk?
5 comments:
According to the court when I went, my ex was not allowed to transport all the kids at once. Doing so was child endangerment. I would think that you have to not allow this or they could get you for endangering the children too. At least hubby should put his concern of this and say in writing that this should never be allowed. If there were ever an accident, the kid not in a seatbelt/car seat is liable to become a human missile and go flying out a window. Or become a pinball bouncing around the car....
Thank you Amy, that is a great point. Perhaps it's time my husband had a talk about this with her. We could definitely type up a letter or something and have her sign it.
This is a BIG problem. I use to be in the fire department and rode the medic. Have you ever seen a kid thrown thru a windshield and be 150 feet away from where the car is? I have. And blaming her if one of the kids dies or is seriously injured/maimed won't undo the damage or bring them back.
You need to address this issue right away, as it is child endangerment.
There are plenty of things that will go on at her house that are out of your control, this isn't one of them.
BM needed new brakes on her car, and tried to blackmail hubby into giving her $1500 for car repairs or else SS would be in an unsafe car. DH told her, no, tough shit. Get it together, get a safe vehicle, and then you can see SS, otherwise he stays with me.
When I wasn't sure how to make sure all of the children were safe in my car, I called the police department and ended up talking with someone who let me know the state law as well as the safest place for each child to sit. No, in hard times, you cannot rush out and buy another car, but some plan needs to be in place to (1) not be breaking the law, and (2) keeping the kids safe. I agree with Amy that your husband should put this concern in writing, with back-up by knowing the state law.
Ditto on what everyone else has said!
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