New Candle Lady In Town

Some of you may remember that one of our biggest issues in being a family of five is financially related. Jane doesn’t pay us anything when it comes to the care of the children. She’s not required to based off of their divorce papers.

This is one of the frustrating things for me. I am THE caretaker and provider of the children (in addition to FH of course) yet I just don’t have those legal rights. I’ve learned not to dwell on it because it only further pisses me off when she pulls one of her demand tantrums. Luckily they’re rare and few in a year.

Last year FH tried to pick up a second job, but the hours and the pay just weren’t worth it. And I was going absolutely stir crazy being home with the boys all day during the weekend. In January and February I tried looking for a part-time serving job. I waitressed myself through college and made some pretty decent money. However, when I discovered I was pregnant I knew that waitressing was not in my future.

Enter Partylite Candles. I had hosted a party last year and I had kept in touch with the consultant. My sister in law ended up hosting a party last month and that was when I decided that I ought to try being a candle lady. That and I didn’t have to put any money down on the table to start off so that was a big plus in my book.

So for the last two weeks I’ve been working furiously to get parties scheduled, my personal website up, and take care of my family. All the while making sure I’m taking care of me and our little lady in waiting.

I’m really excited, mainly because I’m hoping this will give me a chance to get out of the house more often. Ever since I started working full time from home I’ve become a sort of hermit. I love work, and when work is in my house I just don’t leave it as often. And I’m hoping that we’ll be able to use the extra income to save up to put a down payment on a house. Because this little two bedroom apartment just isn’t going to hold all six of us for too much longer once the baby is born.

So wish me luck! If you would like to check out the website feel free to contact me (there is an e-mail link on my profile). And now that I’m more settled in I hope to be on more often. 2010 has definitely been a hectic year so far, but I have faith that I’ll get a better grip on it all eventually.

Toilet Bowl Water Games

I don’t know what caused it or influenced it or even brought forth the idea of it. Yesterday afternoon I walked into the kitchen to refill my water bottle when I glanced into the bathroom. And there in front of the toilet bowl stood Younger Boy. His pants partially pulled up, Thomas underwear sticking out, his right arm furiously swirling around inside the toilet bowl water.

Yet this wasn’t what horrified and disgusted me. I interrupted his water play with an “Excuse me?!? What are you doing?!?” He immediately withdrew his hand from the water in the toilet bowl, walked over to the towel that we all use to dry our hands after we wash them, and dried his hands.

That made me a bit sick to my stomach as I considered that maybe this wasn’t the first time the child has stuck his hands in the filthy toilet bowl water and dried them on the same towel the rest of us use. I then chose to believe that this was indeed the first offense.

Younger Boy was then instructed to wash his hands, with soap, a lot of soap. Twice.

I grabbed a paper towel and moved the toilet bowl watered towel to the dirty clothes basket and replaced it with another towel. I have since added an extra towel on the back of the door for my own personal sanity and health.

I then sent Younger Boy off for his nap and grabbed the Lysol can and sprayed anything and everything that one might touch with toilet bowl watered hands.

At dinner last night Younger Boy and I had a conversation.

Me: Younger Boy, should we put our hands in the toilet?
YB: No.
Me: What do we use a toilet for?
YB: To go pee.
Me: And?
YB: And to go poop.
Me: Do we play in the toilet?
YB: No.
Me: Do we put our hands in the toilet?
YB: No.

I’m going to hope that this was the first and last time Younger Boy will participate in the Toilet Bowl Water Games.

Kind of Irked Me

I’m aware that when people say things to me they’re sometimes trying to be encouraging or positive. However, sometimes when people say things to me it really just irks me. I’ve learned to try and view it with a “Don’t take it personal” attitude. It’s not even that I’m all that sensitive, especially as I’m probably the one who generally is offending to others who are used to my blunt and honest disposition on things.

Ever since we found out that I was pregnant there have been little things said to me in terms of “Now you finally get to be a mother.”

Now, I’m aware that I’ve yet to experience childbirth or a baby of my own. I’m fully aware that there is something missing between myself and the boys since I am not their birth mother. However, since moving in I promise I have not totally been denied the experience of being a mother.

It’s mainly my mother-in-law and some other family members who have said such things. It always catches me off guard and I have to really bite my tongue with the response I want to sling out.

For example, a month or two ago my mother-in-law told me that I’ll finally get to celebrate my first real Mother’s Day. It really irked me. I’m aware she meant it as a mother who has given birth to a child of my own. However, I’ve celebrated a real Mother’s Day. I got the homemade card that was made at school and I swallowed the tears and joy that came with it. I’ve had the opportunity of being able to help see a child excel and grow both physically and intellectually. It’s amazing…that joy and pride you feel when you see a child growing and you know you had something to do with that.

It’s just become kind of obvious to me that now that I’m pregnant with a child that some people have this view that now I’m a real mother. Thank goodness for people like my own mother and sister who realize that I was already a mother before I got pregnant. Not that I need anyone else to validate my worth as a stepmother to the boys, but it’s nice to be recognized. It’s also nice to have family members that treat your new family as if they’ve always been there and not like a stranger still feeling their ways around the formalities.

As I mentioned, I’ve taken to the attitude to not take it personally and to just go with the flow. But I guess it’s just one of those things that stepmoms get to deal with.

It kind of goes with the frustration of wanting to scream out “You try diving in to an already made family, learning to spend all of your paycheck, time and effort on three kids that aren’t yours and you tell me how sane and appreciated you feel!” Maybe I can put that on a giant wine goblet for those rough days.

Baby Update: Going on 19 weeks on Wednesday. Everything in the ultrasound looked good. Good heart beat, all four heart chambers developed, all the good stuff. Now that we know it’s a girl we’re all really excited. My aunt had already started buying girl stuff before we found out so we informed her that she could be at ease that she was right.